BEST OF JULIAN, 0-5.

3/05: Suzuki called nephew Hayden in Maine to tell him that she is going to have a baby boy. Hayden’s response: “Oh.”

5/05: Grandma and Grandpa come to visit Suzuki’s abdomen and learn that the unborn child has a working title: Bebeto.

8/05: The birth takes place at the peak of a full moon, at home in a birthing tub in the dining room. In attendance was famous midwife Pamela Hunt. Soon, he is wrapped up tightly, much like a burrito.

9/05: Grandpa describes the baby as “a gastrointestinal tract with a warning device at each end.”

The young man has multiple names his parents call him at various times:

• Bebeto
• Julian
• Juju
• Misiu (sweetheart or, literally, teddy bear in Polish) or mały misiu (little teddy bear).

7/06: Today, when Suzuki picked Julian up from Nidia's daycare, her ten-year-old daughter stated that “If there was an award for the happiest baby, Julian would win it.”

9/06: Suzuki: "The first time a mom hears her child say 'I love you' is such a wonderful moment in life! Today was that day for me."

11/06: First chili relleno. (In Sebastopol. At El Tarasco.) Later, at home, he had his first bite of pierogi (prepared by Janusz).

First visit to a church. St. John's Presbyterian in Berkeley. Suzuki took him there because there was a musical group from Tanzania there that she wanted to hear. But while there, Julian was asked to play the baby Jesus in their upcoming holiday play on December 17. He accepted. His first acting job!

12/06: The living nativity scene in St. John’s went well. Especially since Suzuki plopped Julian into the manger along with his teddy bear and a bottle—and then stood alongside playing the role of an angel (complete with wings). Funny thing: At one point, Julian took the bottle out of his month and put it in the teddy bear’s mouth. (Grandpa, however, finds Julian a bit old to play the baby Jesus. He was more of a toddler Jesus.)

1/07: First haircut. Mom did it by chasing Julian around from room to room upstairs, snipping a bit here and a bit there. When she was done, Mom had to vacuum the entire upstairs.

First taco. Mom made a stop at the taco truck between daycare and home. Gave a bite of her taco to Julian who immediately yelled, “¡Mas!” and then, after another bite, another “¡MAS!” A bit later, he uttered a tiny yelp when the spices kicked in.

3/07: Janusz took Julian on his first stroller hike. On Poopy Trail in Crane Creek Park. (Actually, it was Poppy Trail, but somebody had converted the first “p” into an “o.”

4/07: Julian said “please” for the first time. Actually, he said “peez.”

5/07: He says "bye-bye" and waves to everything, literally. Lamp posts, dirt, rocks,  sticks, hoses, shoes (he's kind of obsessed with shoes), oh yeah—-and  people, too.

Julian’s first night at his new house at in Fairfax. Another first: No crib.

Juju learned to hop today. He says “Hop! Hop! Hop!” and goes around in circles.

7/07 First said “rangutang” (orangutan) when he happened to see a picture of one, months after the last time he heard Suzuki say it.

8/07: Juju was making a scream-like noise, just for fun. Suzuki asked him, ‘How does it make you feel when you make that sound?’ He answered, ‘Loud. Vacuum. Big.’”

10/07: First true camping trip. With Janusz. Two nights in a tent, plus hikes, getting cold, etc. Also first visit to Yosemite. Enthralled by cooking on the camp stove.

10/07: Talked to his grandfather while the latter was attending a World Series game. Julian said, “Good luck game.”

Suzuki and Julian went on a half-mile hike, he held her finger so tightly that it became numb.

Julian’s got a new routine. He proclaims that his pants are too heavy to put on by himself and he needs help. It even came to this: When handed his socks to put on, he said, “Too heavy. Mama do it.”

1/08: Suzuki: Hey Juju, come upstairs. Julian: No, I want to hang out.

While watching Suzuki apply makeup this morning, “You’re drawing your face?” (“Yes.”) “You have markers on your face?” (“Yes, I suppose I do.”) (pause) “I want some.”

2/08: “Don’t talk with your mouth full, Mama.”

(In bed): “I honk the horn. Baba, you drive. You paddle, Mama.”

3/08: Julian has become obsessed with The Magic Flute. He listens to it once or twice a day. “That’s my music!” he says. We are trying to keep it down to one time a day.

Julian’s current obsessions (besides The Magic Flute): Sprinklers and Drip Systems (a publication) in which he can identify items such as “shut-off valve” and “timer.”

The living room is where Julian has been listening to exerpts from The Magic Flute. Downstairs, in his dad’s office, when a complete version of the opera was played, Julian proclaimed—upon hearing the overture which isn’t one of the exerpts he’s been listening to—“This is not a Magic Flute!” Throughout the opera, every time a piece of music was played that is not among the excerpts Julian repeats that announcement: “This is not a Magic Flute!”

4/08: He grabbed his parents' hands at the dinner table, turned to Suzuki and said, “Thank you for the LOV-E-LY apple sauce!”

5/08: While turning on the static-only radio to hear it hiss: “I have to let some air out.”

One example of a new trend: Suzuki: “Time to put on your jammies.” Him: “No thank you!” with a big, sweet smile.

At bedtime, he said, “I have to go get my ideas” and then fetched a book at random, brought it back to “read” to Suzuki.

Julian noticed Suzuki's shimmery silver dangle earrings. Suzuki: Do you like them? Julian: Yes. I’m going to wear them when I’m you.

Lately, he’s been wanting Suzuki to lay down with him as he gets ready to fall asleep. With his arm around her: “I will keep you safe, Mama (pause...) so you won’t go.”

6/08: "I’m big. I don’t need parents. I don’t need grownups. I’m big enough!"

While Grandpa was reading to him, Julian was examining Grandpa’s face very carefully. He took special interest in all the hair in Grandpa’s nose. Grandpa explained that when one gets very old, hair grows in all sorts of places. Julian, still concerned with the nose situation, had a question for Grandpa: “How do your boogers come out?”

7/08: (In the garden): "I’m going to move the tree to a better place. So it won’t get lost."

(In his room): I’m drilling a big hole so I can plant a tree in it.

7/08 (Before leaving to go blackberry picking) Julian: I want to go peanut butter picking. S: I don’t think there are any peanut trees around here. J: I want to make a peanut butter tree. The peanut butter can grow up.

(In bed) “Are the trees sleeping now? Do they die? Why do the trees die? When they die, the new ones grow? Why does everybody die?”

8/08: First sleepover away from home without parents. At Chance’s house. He and Chance slept together on the blow-up bed and everyone had light savers. There were no problems.

"Kisses are not available. Only hugs."

(On the intercom to Janusz’s downstairs office): "Baba, are you in your office playing work?"

(Before bed): "Mama, what if you fell down a big big hole and died? Don’t fall down a very deep hole and die."

"It’s not too late to ride my bike. The sky is still on."

In the book "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein, when the boy cuts down the tree to build a boat and sail away: "I don't like that one. It's sad. Maybe we could cut out that part." The next time Mom read it and we got to that page he said, "No, don't do that one!"

"You need to feed me because I'm not available to have hands any more."

While taking the toilet paper off the holder: "I need to download it."

"I need to push the buttons (on the calculator) so I can see what time it is."

Julian (in the car): No CARS! (Triumphantly, on the second word) No TREES! No STREETS! No STEERING WHEELS! No BLACKBERRIES! No STRAWBERRIES! No FOOD! No HOUSES! No TRAFFIC LIGHTS! No WINDOWS! No WHITE LINES! (on and on...then) No EVERYTHING!!! 

Suzuki (getting in on the act): "No CARWASH! No CHURCH! No SKY!" Julian: "No, don't say no sky! SKY! CLOUDS! Balloons are invited! Some TREES! PLANTS! FOOD! PARKING LOTS! Suzuki: Is that because you can rollerskate in parking lots? Julian: YES. The Golden Gate Park is invited to my party.

9/08: "I remember when I used to be your mama."

"'Capasop' is when you break something. 'Yudon is when you poke a window with your finger.'"

(In Poland, Aunt Danuta brought Julian a puzzle.) Danuta: Juju, can you help me with this puzzle? Julian: Why? Danuta: It's difficult. Julian: We have at home puzzles that are not so tricky. We can bring them for you next time.

Juju: Do you like chocolate, Mama? S: Yes. J: What kind? S: Dark. J: I like daylight chocolate.

Jules (while gently knocking on Mama’s head): Knock, knock. S: Who’s there? J: Your BONES!

10/08: First e-mail. To Grandpa. Here it is, in its entirety:

On Oct 31, 2008, at 6:10 PM: “333WWWWGGFRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO0000000000S666666666662222222222211111111BBBBASDASDFGUPPPPP”

11/08: Julian: I’m going to be a spider for Christmas(?!). What are you going to be? S: What do you think I ought to be? J: A giraffe. S: And what about Baba? J: Baba will be a tool. He will be a chainsaw.

12/08: Suzuki: Julian, you need to clean your room, it looks like a tornado happened in there. J: There’s a tomato in my room. It went up the stairs and into my room.

S: Don’t be so loud. Baba is still trying to sleep. J: But I turned my voice up louder. S: You turned the volume up too loud. You have to turn it down. J: But the volume turner got stuck.

Suzuki and Julian get in Janusz’s car to go to the doctor. Suzuki starts up the car and Janusz’s stereo goes on; beautiful classical music is playing. Julian: You know, this is Mozart. Suzuki: Oh, really? J: Yes. S: OK. (Then, a radio announcer came on: We just heard the Mozart Trio for Clarinet, Viola, and Piano. Later, Suzuki asked Janusz whether he’d ever played that for Julian. Nope! He apparently just knows Mozart when he hears him.)

Julian: I love you. And I love me.

When Suzuki got home from work) "I will share my toys with you. I was thinking about you. I’ve been thinking about you."

Julian: When will we die? Suzuki: No one knows when we will die. J: What are we made of?

"I love all the people."

1/09: Julian: I’m watching a (pretend) movie. Do you want to watch a movie? Suzuki: What’s the movie about? J: It’s about the whole world. It’s a little scary. S: Maybe it’s too scary for me. J: No, it’s just a LITTLE scary. It has bunnies.

Julian (wielding camera): I want to take a picture of your lungs. Open up your mouth. And, I will make a movie.

When I close my eyes, I see cinnamon dancing on trees.

Suzuki: We haven’t seen the deer in a while. I wonder where they’ve been going. Julian: Maybe they’re having a play date or a sleepover.

2/09: I want someone to sit next to me all the time.

Julian (at a thrift store): I want to buy something in a box. In a big box. Suzuki: You mean that box with the plastic toys inside? J: Yes. S: No, because that toy didn’t look very interesting, and we don’t want to buy plastic stuff. It’s bad for the earth and you love the earth, right? J: I don’t love the earth anymore.

[As of today, Julian officially can spell his last name. All thirteen letters worth.]

3/09: "We were doing road construction at school. Me, Jacob and Henry. And we were saying 'ROAD CONSTRUCTION UP AHEAD!'"

Suzuki: Do you want anchovy paste in your salad? Julian: No, I only like it on a hot day.

Suzuki (after Julian trailed off mid-sentence): Finish your thought. Julian: What’s a thought? S: It’s an idea in your head. J: I have lots of thoughts. They’re all from Poland. They’re only for Baba. S: What do you mean? J: They’re a surprise for you both. They’re a secret surprise.

Suzuki: Do you want some Inca berries? Julian: No, I only eat them on Sunday.

Julian (shelling peas): I’m going to put them all in my mouth—like Grandpa. Grandpa stuffed a lot of peas in his mouth at the same time.

Julian's latest joke: "Excuse me, could you find my balance?"

Julian: What’s that? Suzuki: Mail from the Children’s Chorale in Colorado. It was a singing group I used to be in. We traveled all over the world singing and sometimes dancing. Maybe someday you’ll want to do something like that. J: No, I want to be a doctor and a road constructioner ONLY. And a cooker. (pause) Because I practiced all those things.

Suzuki: We need to take the snowflake off the window. Julian: NO! Why? S: Because it’s not winter any more. It’s a seasonal thing. J: No, I NEED to have it there! S: For how long? J: Until we die. S: Until we die? J: Until just before we die.

Julian (with the dream catcher he made): When I have a bad dream, I break it in two. When I have good dreams, they go in here and I will remember them. They won’t get deleted.

Suzuki: We’ve got to get ourselves moving this morning. Julian: I’ve got to get the wagon out and connect it to the foxes. They’ll pull us out the door. The foxes don’t need shoes because animals don’t need them.

Julian: There’s a very big flashlight that turns on here when it’s daytime and turns off in Poland. And then it turns off when it’s nighttime here, and it turns on in Poland. I figured out that’s how the sun works.

4/09: (listening to The Gas Men doing Wild Mountain Rose/Star of Muenster): "Can you make it one more pound of loud?"

5/09: These gardening gloves are like baseball mitts. I will catch the moon in them and then I'll throw it back into the sky!

(listening to the Gasmen CD): Cormac stopped playing. This is the part where Cormac stops playing the bodran.

Julian: Watermelon time is when the world needs no people. Suzuki: What does that mean? J: It's just an advertisement.

I need to use some "hop-scotch tape."

(Pointing to his right forearm): See, I have a scratch, a burn, and a bite! They are all friends.

(Pointing to a convertible car): Wow, you'd have a hard time driving that car and holding onto a balloon!

When I'm done coloring this, I want to hang it up. Let's put pictures all over the entire house, so we don't see any walls--except the mirrors--because it's kind of boring how we have it now.

6/09: (Crawling into our bed in the middle of the night): I got too much sand in my eyes from the moon.

Excuse me. (Yes?) I need some attention.

Why do deer have horns? (To protect themselves and vie for females.) Yeah. They fight them for her babies. Then they blow their horns.

(During his shower) Suzuki: I need a foot, please. (Scrub.) Now I need another foot. Juju: There are no more feet for sale. S: But I see another foot. J: It's only for decoration. S: Could I rent or borrow one, please? J: Yeah.

You can only sneeze if you live by yourself.

Suzuki: What do you want in your sandwich? Juju: Sticks and soil.

Julian: Let's talk. (What about?) The whole world. (What kind of things about the whole world?) All the kinds of things.

I need to make the music stand higher. (Why?) For the dinosaurs. I'm going to peel off their skin.

7/09: I want you to show me how to swim and play fiddle at the same time.

Julian’s friend Jacob (looking at our Polish sculpture of Adam, Eve, Cain, and Abel): Is that Juju’s dad with the beard? Suzuki: No, they’re characters from the Bible. Jacob: What’s the bible? Suzuki: A book of stories that some religions are based upon. Jacob: Does Julian have that movie?

I have a dog and a cat and a giraffe. My giraffe lives in a pancake.

I love you as loud as I can scream.

Suzuki: Come down and have your eggs, Julian! Julian: I can't--I'm putting on lipstick! I have four kinds of lipstick! And I made a new hairstyle.

Julian (writing a letter to Grandma and Grandpa): Send it from the police office. Suzuki: Why? Julian: Actually, send it from the post office. I'm kind of confused.

8/09: Janusz to Suzuki: Today, Juju told me that he would love me forever. Julian: I will love him forever SO MUCH. I will love him as big as my bike is. My bike is VERY big.

(A few days after Lark Music Camp): I want to buy a taiko drum. I want to buy the very big one. We can put it in our back yard. You guys will have to help me set it up and make it very low so I can reach it.

I love you, Mama. It’s your love birthday.

(While eating an avocado and grinning widely): We can go salsa dancing in avocados.

I love you as fast as I can ride my bike. I can ride SO fast.

Sometime I want to move closer to the camp (Lark) so it won’t take as long to get there.

Suzuki (in concerned tones): Juju, how are you feeling about to two of us being separated for two and a half weeks while you’re in Poland? Julian: It’s kind of good because we’ve been together too much and I don’t really like it. In two more days, I’m going to have enough of you and then, when I get back, I’m going to REALLY want to be with you.

9/09: Julian [on our way to his friend Stewart’s house]: How was the world made? Janusz: Well, no one knows for sure—it’s a bit of a mystery. Julian: Could you tell me the parts that you know? Janusz: Well, there was a big bang. Juju: Where? Janusz: Where the world is now. And then from a tiny point, the world rapidly expanded. Juju: What’s “expanded?” Janusz: Got bigger. Juju: You mean it grew like people? Suzuki: More like it blew up like a balloon. Janusz: Well, the life forms grew sort of like people. Juju: Where were the people? Janusz: There weren’t any people. Juju: Actually, I was there. I was the only one. Janusz: Oh, really? Juju: Yes. I built the world. It didn’t really expand. I built it. Janusz: What was the first thing you made? Juju: Uh, I built Stewart’s house. That was really good for Stewart. Don’t tell Stewart. That I built his house or that I was the only one. Those are the two things we WON’T tell him…We’ll let him guess.

Mama, can I have some tape? (What for?) I need to tape our hearts together.

Julian (in bed): Tomorrow I'm going to tell you something. A song that Silver (his teacher from school) made up. Actually I'm going to ask Baba to record it and it will be a secret and I will give it to you for Christmas. We will put it in a box. You will open up a big box and then a smaller box and another smaller box and inside that will be a CD case and you will open up the CD case and inside that will be the CD!

(First words of the morning in our tent): Mama, I got to give you a hug. I got too many hugs and I can't fit them into my Self. I got to give you guys a lot of hugs!

I have to go get something--it's a secret. It's a rainbow on the moon. Let's get it (reaches arm and grabs the air). I got some rainbows (clenched fists). Could you please open the invisible box? ("Sure." I open, he puts them inside.) Now close it. If we don't put them in the box, they float away.

Suzuki: First things first. Juju: No, next things first, then first things. That's the way to go.

When I grow up, I'm going to be a cook and an airplane driver and a train driver and a police driver and a fire truck driver and a guitar player and a piano player and a math teacher and a builder that builds refrigerators and freezers and storages and houses and toys.

My speed car can always park in there (Suzuki's favorite parking spot at Julian's school). It can fly over the cars and red lights. It doesn't have a honker because it can fly over the cars, so it doesn't need a honker. I don't have a rule for how fast my car can go. I can just go free without any speed limit on that car. I'm the only one who can have one of those cars because all of the other ones someone pushed down in the store and they broke.

Sometime I will tape our hearts so none of the good feelings will go away. But the hole where the bad feelings can go out, I WON'T cover. The bad feelings just go through the hole and you won't see them ever again.

Julian: What color eyes do you have? Suzuki: Take a look. Julian: Umm, they're green and blue and black and white and red.

10/09: Suzuki: Let's buy this cinnamon raisin bread. Julian: It will only be for the citizens in our family.

Julian: Look what I have. Suzuki: Is that a filter? J: Yes. It filts.

Don't leave until I'm ALL the way asleep. I'll tell you when I'm all the way asleep.

I know about the whole world because I live underground. I have two tow trucks that I keep in my garage. I live under a geyser: Old Faithful.

Suzuki (while Julian repeatedly bonked his head against her legs: Do you need some attention? Julian: Yes. I couldn't tell you because my voice doesn't work and my mouth is locked. That's why.

Suzuki: Julian, I want you to come eat the rest of your sandwich. Julian: No, I need to look up (at the tripod) and make sure the planets are not falling.

We are sea turtles. I am the sea turtle that can turn into a fire-breathing dragon. I can scare away the fish that would eat us. I use my fiery breath to cook them up for us to eat.

I cancel your bad dreams out of you, but only your scary ones and your hurting ones and your violence ones.

There--I put all my bad dreams in you. We'll have to push your belly button to delete them.

11/09: Mama, can you make sure I don't wear this shirt to school ever again or when Jake comes over. (Why not?) Jake says it's not cool.

Cod liver oil is my favorite liquid.

Do you know I have a valve in my body? It turns on my poo poo and turns off my pee pee and turns on my pee pee and turns off my poo poo. That's how it works.

Do you have an iPhone? (No. Do you know what an iPhone is?) Yes. It's a phone that you call with your eye.

Julian (while listening to a recording of a house concert of legendary piper Paddy Keenan I had attended): Were you clapping too at Cormac's house concert? Suzuki: Yes. Julian: Which clap was yours?

Close your eyes. (Why?) Because I'm going to do something and then you're going to say, "Hey, who did that?" and I'm going to say, "Not me."

Me and my friends built the Golden Gate Bridge a long time ago. (What did you use?) A lot of things, but not bricks. We used wood and we sanded the wood and we used screws and nails and lots of tools and we dug out the ocean and the lake across from it (the Bay).

Spiderman is in Star Wars.

Dark Vadar is a boy and Light Vadar is a girl.

Suzuki: I love you and hope you feel better ASAP and that means as soon as possible. Juju: Awwww, you’re loving me so much! I love you too. If I snuggle with you that means I love you…I’m snuggling with you. I will make you a rainbow.

I will be able to iron when I am older. I will stay here and iron for you guys when you are old.

Julian (after hearing the story of Jesus’s birth): I was there. Remember how I said I made the whole world? So, I was already there. I didn’t even need a star. I knowed where it was.

I need a piece of pumpkin pie or else I will be hungry forever.

1/10: Julian (borrowing my ring): This is the ring of beauty. Beauty is so good for you! We share the beauty—here, you can have some beauty. You get half the beauty and I get half the beauty.

Once I ate a wood chip, for real life. (What did you think?) Not good. Not edible. But I chewed it up and swallowed it, for real life.

I have to get my dowries (two roasting racks). Those are my special dowries.

I’m the king of cooking. I can make onions turn into the kind that don’t make you cry.

Obama used to be Jesus. (Did you say Baba used to be Jesus?) No. Obama, our president. (Obama used to be Jesus?) Yes. (Where did you get that idea?) It’s just a joke that I made up.

I think in the olden days, they used to kill loofas and use them as wheels.

What is outside the universe?

Julian (watching Suzuki replace the smoke detector she had taken down to make it stop beeping): Are we done burning things for the day, Mama?

2/10: Baba walks around while he brushes him teeth. Because he's very funny. And he's so talented.

I want to be a robot dragon next Christmas.

You should have named me "Cuckoo Head" when I was born. Or "Robot." I want to change my name to Robot. I want everybody to think I'm a robot because my name is Robot. Wouldn't that be funny?

I'm going to catch a frog and I'm going to feed him every day and I'm going to build a very large pond for him to swim all around in.

For Christmas, I want to have hemp cereal with chocolate milk.

I want you to make a special machine that when you're gone you turn it on, and in the morning, it will give me cod liver oil.

4/10: (swoop!) I caught you in my parents-catching net! I give you a big hug, then I let you go.

I'm a power peace ninja. Ninjas do exercise, they don't hurt anybody. Peace power ninjas are bigger than ice cream trucks.

When I wake up in the morning, I can't really control my voice. I can't talk very well. But when I walk through my door, there's a force field I walk through and then I can talk.

Let me see your necklace. It has powers. That's a power necklace. When I touch it, I get lots of power. I got a lot of power from that necklace.

I'm king of the skylights! (Carrying a stick) This is my staff of plenty!

(While hiking) I'm a robot. Robots can't see, they have to feel their way.

I'm a scruggle-foot mulligatawny!

5/10: I want to live in a shoe, Mama.

Is gravity the strongest thing in the world? (I guess so.) Except clouds, right? They're stronger because they stay up in the sky.

I'm going to jump up and hang from the sky. And I'm going to jump off Pluto. They don't even have that in circus school.

I should teach other people my language. When I grow up, I'll teach it. I hope I will remember it.

One of my jobs is to pinch myself.

If you scream too loud at my school, the sprinklers will go on.

HIGH-MAINTENANCE TRUCK, COMING THROUGH!

I'm a robot and I have a little pouch right here at my waist where I can put my kangaroo.

I'm making a high-maintenance bridge. I have emergency nose wipes, emergency whistles, gloves, and spyglasses. And an emergency telephone. (Why?) Because if people walking across drop stuff. There are no sides on the bridge.

A spider is spinning his web around a bad spaceship. He's a good black widow.

Something was biting my foot. It was half mosquito, half lion.

This is the first time I peeled the whole ginger by myself. I'm learning kitchen stuff. I'm going to tell everyone at my school. I'm really a peeler of ginger with this (peeler). It will be so easy for me. I'm going to be able to help you so much times. I'm working hard on this because I'm learning. Some parts, I'm learning so quickly. (Singing): Get all the bumps out! I got all the skin out!

(After I had put him to bed): Mama, can you please come back up here? ([Upstairs, whilst snuggling] OK, what's up, Honey?) It's my last chance to be with you on this day.

7/10: My language is nonsense to the people on the world. But on my planet, it’s real. It’s real stuff, OK? But it’s nonsense to the world people, like you. I built the world and all the planets. WAY before the dinosaurs. I was born in space. I built all the planets, even the world and Pluto. I live on Pluto. And on a lot of other planets, even the one that got hit. (Jupiter?) Yes. Luckily, I wasn’t there and I took my house on top of my car. I made my house the kind that pops onto wheels and you can wheel it onto your car. Then you can pop it down on the planet. You should come with me sometime. I’ll show you. But you shouldn’t take your jet pack because it will make you shoot past ALL the planets…(etc.).

I wish I was a lighthouse keeper. Do they still have those?

Who are the people who decide what people can do and can’t do? (Lawmakers?) Yes. How do you get to be one? (You run for a position in government, etc…Do you want to be one?) Yes. How many things can you be? (Depends on how much time you need for each thing. You can do multiple things if you have enough time. Or, you can do one thing for a while and then switch to another.) Are you going to do your job forever, Mama? (I don’t know.) Do old people have jobs?

Do you know all the words in the world? (No, no one does.) No, I do. I learned them while I was in your belly. Someone taught me all the words.(Who?) The man from Pluto. He had a special spaceship and it poked in you and it didn’t even hurt.

Don’t ever go camping without me. I want you to bring me with you everywhere you go.

How many hours until dinner is ready? How many days until dinner is ready? How many months until dinner is ready? How many ancestors until dinner is ready?

(monotone voice) I am Robot Kenobe. And I can take off my hand.

I built all the planets, but actually Pluto growed, and I was born on Pluto. Pluto still thinks I’m his son, but I’m not.

We should take band-aids everywhere we go, in case one of us gets hurt. If I get hurt, you will put one on me, and if you get hurt, I will put one on you.

My shirt is five-dimensional. Six dimensional is when there’s sound too.

The more sugary it is, the more yummier it is for kids. That’s what we know.

Julian (Looking at an old dump site in the Colorado Rocky Mountains): That’s so sad. We should clean this up! Suzuki: But, where are we going to put it--it’s still going to end up on the earth. Julian: I’m going to make a machine that will recycle everything to clean up the earth. Suzuki: But what about when your machine breaks down--where will that end up? Julian: It will be compostable. All my machines will be compostable. My machines will last for my whole life. Suzuki: What about your kids and their kids lives? Julian: I will teach my kids and they will teach their kids and they will teach THEIR kids how to operate the machine.

I know what a “goon” is. (What is a goon?) It has four arms and four hands, a butt for one eye and a mouth for a nose and a nose for a mouth.

8/10: Mama, you are a dandelion seed. And Baba and I are Japanese Maples. You get to fly over the ocean. (I do?) Yes. We will make the wind to blow you across.

Julian (in the draining bathtub, with his hand on the drain): It’s sucking me down. Suzuki (addressing the drain): No, you can’t have my son! Julian: But I want to go down to the pipe world! Suzuki: But I want you here in this world! Julian: But I will come back. (Later, while Suzuki pulled his shirt over his head): Oh no, I’m going to the pipe world and I’m not even packed! (Later): I’m the leader of the pipe world.

Julian (in bed): I push a special button and cords come down and attach to my bed and then pull it up, so I can sleep up in the air.

I’m going to bring my froggy to Poland, because I love him SO much. I’m going to bring him mostly everywhere I go.

Suzuki: I’ll put your birthday money from Grandma and Grandpa into my bank account, since you don’t have enough money to open your own bank account yet. Julian: Yes, because I save my ice cream money (loose change) for ice cream, not for getting a bank account!

9/10: Here, I'm delivering the hugs. I give you all my love with hugs. I give all my love to Baba by speaking Polish sometimes.

Me and Djadek (Polish grandpa) could understand each other without talking to each other.

This corn on the cob is like real candy! Next year at Easter, can we put some corn in the eggs?

(In a tent during the Celtic Festival in Sebastopol): Suzuki: Goodnight. Juju: Goodnight.

(Suzuki walks away from the tent, until she hears): Wait Mama! Suzuki: Yes, Juju? Julian: I love you SO much! Suzuki: Likewise, Honey! Julian: Unzip the tent a little so the love can get through. (This gets done.) Julian: OK, you got it now.

Did you know that the stars are not really stars? They are really huge clumps of LOVE. If you look at a star, the love comes down to you.

Suzuki: Babcza and Dzadek have only one grandson. You! And Grandma and Grandpa have three grandkids: You, Hayden and Megan. Julian: They are a little luckier. Suzuki: Janusz and I will only have as many grandkids as you have kids. Julian: OH! (pause)

I will marry you again and we'll have kids! Suzuki: Hmm. Then my kids will also be my grandkids! That would be kind of weird. Julian: Yeah. That would be REALLY weird! (laughs)

(On his way out the door to go to school): Mama, I'm going to keep saying goodbye and I love you the whole day. You will feel it the whole day. Make sure you feel it in your brain. Make sure you feel it for the whole time I don't see you.

(To Janusz) There's love bouncing between you and me and Mama. And there's another love bouncing between just you and Mama.

10/10: Mama, you are the most helpful person I have ever met. (pause) Well, I didn't really "meet" you, right?

[After finding a dog tag that says "My Name is Thor"]: My name isn't really Thor. It's only my name when I go to the underworld. When I dig down to the underworld. Thor is the name of the underworld. That's why they call me that. Because I am the ruler of the underworld.

I wrote a song. It's called Jiggity Reel. The way you play it is you take a truck and you throw it into the ocean. The crashing waves and the splashing car are the music.

Play some tunes, Mama. I'm dying to hear some Irish music.

Dust for sale! Who wants some dust? Dust for sale!

Who wants to sell dust with me?

[On the steps in front of our house] Do you know what I do when someone goes by that I don't know who they are? I freeze. (S: So that you're hidden?) No, so that they'll think I'm a sculpture.

[With a garland encircling his face, like he was a flower]: Roar.( S: Um, are you a scary flower?) I'm just telling the bees I have no more honey...I'm just telling the bees I have no more pollen...What's pollen?

Suzuki: I'll put these worry dolls by your bed, so you can tell them any worries you might have before going to sleep. Julian: I can also tell them things to mix in with the worries that are not worries. I can do that.

Mama, you be my fish and I'll be a fisher and I'll catch you, because you're going to be my pet. And you couldn't find any food, so I put a glass jar on the end and you swam into it and I brought it up and gave you a bunch of food.

Suzuki: The sky looks pretty right now. Julian: Like garlic. It's dawn.

11/10: I'm talking with an alligator accent.

I want to make some "laughing bread." (What's laughing bread?) Tortillas.

Love isn't real. You just think it is. It's not real.

[Inspired from a recent trip to Yosemite, Julian decided to make crayon-colored, cut-out "mountains" for all of his teachers and one of his friends at school.] I'm going to give them out like tokens!

(Whispering to me): We need to make plans. (S: What plans?) We'll discuss it upstairs. (S: Um, OK.) [Later, upstairs]: (S: So, what plans are we going to discuss?) Well...why don't we disguise the upstairs of the house, then we can hide from Baba? (S: But how can we disguise the house without making a big mess? I've really been trying to get things organized.) We're going to have it organized. [Then he took a couple of bandanas out and draped them on a couple of furnishings.] OK, there! Let's get in our hiding places. [He got into the closet.] Baba! Come up here!

The street is full of hot lava. We're hot lava monsters and we can slurp the hot lava like a drink.

[Placing two small chairs into various formations]: I'm making a topsy-turvy exerciser. Do you want me to make a seat for you on the topsy-turvy exerciser? (Yes.) Now it's a topsy-turvy boat. We can sail across the ocean. Can we have a dance party and put the boat to the shore?

Real sailors drink a glass of water before they brush their teeth. And captains slurp the saltwater from the ocean!

Mama, can you tell Baba to keep my door open tonight because it's a sailors' secret that if the door's open, I will sail faster tomorrow morning.

What's the name of that Gas Man who plays the flute? (Vinny.) Yeah. He plays like a bird sings.

Soon, you will deserve rest. (Suzuki: I already deserve rest.) Soon, you will deserve breasts. (S: I already have breasts.) You will deserve more breasts! (How many?) 100!

Julian: You are my nemesis. Suzuki: Do you know what it means? Julian: I can't remember.

[This evening Julian sat next to the oven and read a book to the roasting chicken.] The chicken wants me to read him a story.

It's Paddy Fahey's Multiplying Circus!

I played soccer with Rowan today at school. (Pretend or with a ball?) With a molecule.

Guess what I'm building? A wombat truck.

12/10: Mama, I love you so much, I can't really tell you.

King of the Fungus, King of the Fungus, I'm the King of Fungus, Baby, I'm the King of Fungus, Baby! [To the tune of Manu Chao's "Bongo Bong" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvQ5o50CPxU]

Mama, do you believe in Fairies? I do. My friend Luke and I both believe in Fairies and pretend we are Fairies. (What are fairies and where do they live?) They have wings and some of them are invisible. They live everywhere. Like fire fairies, water fairies, dirt fairies, tooth fairies, hot lava fairies, flood fairies. We like the good fairies. Not all of them are good.

Hey Indigo, let's play pretend soccer without a ball! (Indigo: You can't play soccer without a ball.) Yes you can. You stand there in the middle and I'll kick. [Kick] Almost! That's almost.

I'm the king of the spank-your-butt club, but it doesn't spank butts anymore. It's a special fairy that puts lights on the Christmas tree and gives you wishes.

I'm so hungry, I'd have to eat the whole world to get myself full.

I gave you an extra fart because I had one more than you and you had one less than me.

(Handing me a heart token): Take this heart with you to work today, Mama, and whenever you want some love from me, just squeeze it.

(Wielding a ladle): This is my magic wand and I use it to stop wars. Ok, I stopped all the wars! Now I will use it to make people healthy.

Angels and Fairies are in the same family.

Julian (In the middle of reading 'Twas The Night Before Christmas): Is Santa Claus real? Suzuki: Um, do you want to believe in him? J: No, I want to know if he's real. S: Are you sure you want to know? J: Yes. S: No. J:Then, how do the presents get there? S: There's some parent involvement. J: How? They hide things to make it a surprise. J: I want to help do that! I want to help do that for the other people. [Later, Janusz told Juju the story of the real St. Nicholas.]

Boing-y hog! [This is one of his favorite non sequiturs.]

[Carrying an invisible "big box"] This is a present for you and you can open it today because today is Christmas for the underworld and this is from the underworld!

2/11: Grandpa, your eyebrows are very long. They keep dust out of your eyes very good.

[Julian shoveled snow by himself from Grandma and Grandpa's house to a few doors down, in 12 degree weather.] "My blood was almost frozen."

I'm Captain Bottle and you're Hop Slip Boop Slick and I'll teach you how to drive the ship. Baby Love (teddy bear) is the lookout.

(Regarding Mama's pico de gallo):  "It's way better than the ones I have tasted in the recent days."

Mama, I have a secret to tell you that no other sailors know. (What is it?) I'll tell you when we're out on the seas.

Mama, I made sweat lodges that can fly and walk and they're friends.

Julian (running down the outside stairs to greet Suzuki after work): Mama!!! Suzuki: Hi Misiu. How was your day? Juju: It was great! Every part of my day was great. (Later, while he hugged her leg, she asked him, "What was so great about today?" He replied, "You! This is the greatest part of my day.")

(Running around) I've got to catch up with the ketchup!

Julian: It's your fiddle's birthday. I've got to hug him and give him his present. Suzuki: What's his present? Julian: You. You are his present.

I want to bring a sunflower down to the underworld or to one of the planets I live on, either one. In the underworld, sunflowers are TREES.

Julian: How do you write my name with you know, those bumps? Suzuki: Braille? Julian: No, how people usually write. Suzuki: You mean cursive handwriting? Julian: Yes.

Mama, do you want to pretend that it's your birthday and I'm your best friend and I baked you a cake and you'll say "that's my favorite cake" and I'll say "I know?" Oh, your cake is ready!  Mama, what if right before I cut it, a dragon popped out of it? Well, I'll make you a new one. What shape of pieces do you want your cake to be cut in?"

Mama, Baba (Janusz) is good at cooking things that are simple and you are good at things that are more complicated.

Suzuki: Oh wow, there's something funny about the way your ear is shaped. Julian: I like it. I like that I'm different so people can know that I'm here. That I'm I.

Never go to a place where it's very quiet--where there's no sound. Because there's a spider that's SO poisonous--more poisonous than a black widow!

Suzuki: Thanks Honey, you are a great help to me. Julian: And you are a great help to ME! And you're a great help to yourself since you MADE me!!!

My hearing in that ear is kind of blurry. Your talking so lightly. (Ear infection.)

I have a machine I carry in my pocket that scans my fingers very slowly and tells me when I need to cut my fingernails.
 
Suzuki: Could you please go out and get me some sage from the garden? Julian: I can't right now, I'm making a contraption.

Suzuki (at dinner): I'm thankful to my son for making me laugh so many times today. Janusz: "I'm thankful to my son for going on such a great hike with me today. Julian: OK, you guys--close your eyes but don't scrunch them...I'm thankful to you both for saying that.

Finally! I caught up with the ketchup.

Jujuword Translation: "Poochie tacos," n. underarms

3/11: [At bedtime]: What if the lightning hits the window? What things are not conductive? ... Is there air on the moon? Are humans going to take over space like they've taken over the earth? How could they live on the moon? Are there other planets with air? ... What is the fastest spacecraft? I need to know. ... How much water is there on earth? ... How many places are there? How many interesting places?

How do horses talk with only one word?

Can we play a little space war game? Just a little tiny war? No one will get hurt.

[While using chopsticks]: What was the country that had the earthquake? (Japan.) Do they use chopsticks in Japan? (Yes.) So using them can be like a blessing to them.

4/11: This tortilla is beautiful. It's like art. It's precious art.

One day can the whole family take apart the kitchen table and put it back together again?

How many hours do you live? How many days? How many weeks? What's the highest number possible to live?

You get a 100% hug. It's like cotton, but it just hug.

Thank you for the fabulous dinner, Mama. Baba, are YOU going to thank Mama for the dinner? (Janusz: Thank you for the wonderful dinner, Suzuki.) I think fabulous is more than wonderful. Don't you think it was fabulous?

How is electricity made? How are magnets made so that they have all positives on one side and negatives on the other?

Did you know that if you say "terribly good," it means even more than "great?" It means the best good ever.

Mama, you look good lying in the bed with your hair like that. Your grey hair looks like seaweed.

Which is smaller, atoms or molecules? What's the smallest thing? ... How does mold grow on your teeth?

Are germs alive? What happens to them after you blow your nose? How many babies can germs have at one time?

I've learned so many things from Baba lately! [Baba (Janusz) made charts and taught him the functions of hormones, the structure of atoms and certain molecules, how magnets are made to be polarized, and how electricity if made.]

I'm a love transporter. I have the most love ever. And I throw it out all over the world, not knowing where it goes.

Suzuki: Goodnight, Juju. Julian: Goodnight...Wait, Mama! How does the heart pump blood?

5/11: Hello? Hello? I'm using my sandwich as a space phone.

[flashing a light at me] I'm giving you an Energy Shot. There's a dollar of pounds in each second of light.

You are the Easter Mama Vegetarian Tiger who protects the eggs from the Easter Wolf.

I know a secret, Mama. At certain times, Pluto jumps over the other planets and is the closest to the Sun.

Did you know that earth is another name for dirt?

I'm going to pitch a fork!

Anytime you want some love, just blow a kiss to my baby and he will give you pounds of love. Anytime. Even when you're not sick.

You can't remember things that happen to you when you're asleep because your memory rips everything apart.

Mama, what are those crinkles on your face?

If I wrote the 21 Balloons, I would have made it a little longer before the explosion so that they would finish the parachute. And I would have the flying thing go over San Francisco and have the professor land in San Francisco.

Mama: "Look, there's a halo around the moon." Julian: "It's not a halo, it's a moonbow." 

[holding a banana like a gun] What does this look like? (Um, a gun?) But, food comes out of it. It shoots food to poor people.

How tiny are virus balls? How do germs enter your body? ... What is spit for? ... How do people remember things?

[in bed] Do you want to pretend we're plants? We have to get under the covers because they are the dirt.

[with bubbles on his finger] My finger is wearing a spacesuit!

How about these crystals are alive and they're friends?

[in the bath] What warm water is there? (Hmm. What do you mean?) Oh, I'm just randomly saying something.

The birdies will help me find the eggs. They took the eggs that didn't hatch and painted beautiful patterns on them and hid them in the trees. They'll find them and bring them down to me.

How not-splashy can boats be?

I like ladybugs. I even like worms. I don't care if worms poop on me because they just eat dirt and poop it out.

Did you know there are three kinds of steps? The one that means "the next thing," the one you go up, and the step you take with your foot?

What's the opposite of Santa Cruz?

Jujuword Translation: wooji, n. = dishwasher rack

6/11: I'm ready for more advanced cooking. Like more of the grown-uppy kind. Like the oven-y kind.

Can you imagine a dog walking down the street with a candy cane conference work phone?

[After playing a tune on his asparagus spear]: That was a song about when the father of all compost men died.

OK, my boat's landed. What island is this?

Mama: Julian, come brush your teeth! Juju: OK, if you insist. [pause]...What does insist mean?

Super Peacock Feathers will save the day!

This is an armpit vacuum. It blows dirtiness all over everything you're touching. And then you fall down.

There are only a few people who don't have hate. The people who have hate can't have love. I've been working with Mother Nature on the cycles. If you have any hate, I will be operating the machine that will pick you up and let you out in outer space.

How do crayons end their life? ... What is fire made of? ... Did you know that spiders can be as small as a speck of dust or as large as a dinner plate?

After eating a slice of watermelon, you should kiss the rind.

Jujuwords Translated : Chicawahwah  n. /chi-ka-wah-wah/ 1. "private parts" ; Lukujalah interj./lu-ku-jah-lah/ (inflection matters here!) 1. "If I say if very tender, it means 'Oh, how sad' 2.  but if I say it with a happy voice, it means the opposite. 3. If you say it half way between, it means 'Very nice. Good job!'"

7/11: See Mama, I built a hydro-mocanic organic water factory. It's an organic source of water. It pumps the water from the sink. [Sink begins to overflow now.] Oh my God, that did not work so well.

I can burp you right out of your pants.

Julian (in the bathtub): Can you get me a pen? Suzuki: Why? Julian: I want to draw a little something on my body. I need a permanent pen. Suzuki: What do you want to draw? Julian: A water level. So I'll know when to turn the water off.

Everybody has a plug on the top of their head.

Suzuki: Julian, what do you say when someone gives you something? Julian: Thank you, my majesty.

Mama, you're the cream in my butter. You're the lego in my ship. You are the elbow in my arm.

(Whispering) Mama, tell her (a laughter therapist at Harbin) that the world is a big ball rolling through space on wheels!

I don't get raspberries. Because most berries have color names like black or blue, but raspberries are different.

I don't like mirrors.

See my little (Lego) guy's jet pack? It has a hat box. He has the most unusual hat. It's a lily pad hat. He has this thing plugged into his brain.

If you don't get my jokes, I won't get your jokes.

8/11: Suzuki: Oh no, I forgot about something. Julian: Why did you forget about it? Suzuki: Because I have too many things to remember and not enough time to remember them. Julian: Why don't you just quiet down your rumpus? Then you'll be able to remember things.