SOLD to the Man With The Walrus Mustache.

I'm not sure why, but I can never say "hi" for someone else (like on the phone, so-and-so says "hi"). It's really hard for me. I can't be a "hi" transfer machine.

I'm going down memory lane with my scars.

I was with a chicken in the garden at school today and I could have sworn I heard him squawking Beethoven's Fifth.

I know you're feeling below the weather, Mama.

I'm almost seventy pounds!

Baba: Suzuki, I don't like that pile of stuff you keep over there.
Me: I hear what you're saying with an open mind, open heart...
Julian: And an open mouth.

Knitting isn't as "clockwork-ical" as crocheting.

That seaweed salad was top of the notch.

Going once, going twice, SOLD to the man with the walrus mustache!

What are volts?

I can roll my Rs now!

Mama, what's your favorite band? Mine is the birds chirping in the morning.


Dark looks and unusable hands.

Don't do that, Mama. I'm looking at you darkly.

How old do I have to be to go on a Vision Quest?

Me: Julian, stop arguing and get upstairs.
J: Fine. But, I'm bristling at you.

Me: Sorry for dragging my feet getting out the door to the party.
J: You put on your osmium-filled shoes, Mama. (Osmium is the heaviest element in the periodic table.) Then, you put on your helium-filled shoes, flew out the door, and Baba and I were like "what happened?"

Me: How do you like the cardamom in this galette?
J: It's kind of demanding, it kind of takes over a little too much.

(Singing): It is possible, but not practical, that I would have to do the dishes!

Everybody calls their side the "good guys."

Me: Julian, take smaller bites.
J: Why? We're not dainty Victorians.

In the 19th century, you used to be able to buy a hot cross bun for a ha'penny. That's one of the reasons it's getting harder and harder to pay for stuff with coins. You almost need a wheelbarrow of money now.

I saw two teenage boys walking together, both on their cell phones!

Laughing takes all the blood from my hands. It makes my hands unusable.

(While planting kale starts): Thrive! Be well! Be constrained no longer!

Me: I know how to make good banana bread.
J: Get on making it. I'm all mouths!


You can't be involved in politics and not know the F word.

Pew, that cheese is stinky! That really takes a toll on my mood.

To me, packing for a trip is related to hoarding: Hmm, maybe I'll need this and maybe I'll need that...

Julian: You could be the next president, Mama.
Suzuki: I don't think so. You could do it.
Julian: Nah, I'd be on Town Council. Or maybe Senator or Congress. Or the National Board of Education. Maybe I could improve the math program. Or maybe a judge. Nah...Town Council.

You can't be involved in politics and not know the F word.

I think I got more of Grandpa's genes than you.

Where the heck in tarnation is my other biking glove?

I'm going to draw my teacher a very fancy flower with a long taproot, like any self-respecting flower would have. There'll be a splash of color on the petals.


Funk music, old-fashioned people, and imperfection.

Mama, I discovered reading War and Peace and listening to Cameo do not mix.

I ran a mile in five minutes and 32 seconds. Is that good? Some people walk their laps. I can't imagine not running my laps. I tried and I couldn't. Even if I'm like, "My ankle hurts, I'm not going to be able to run my laps," I still end up running my laps. I don't know why.

Mama, would you rather be in a perfect situation in an imperfect world, or an imperfect situation in a perfect world?

I have a new mantra, "I clear my mind." You can use it, Mama.

What are yoga mats made of? (Plastic foam.) How did the old-fashioned people do yoga before these mats?

(At good-night tuck-in): Now leave me with my thoughts.


Get in Touch with Your Inner Gyroscope.

What's the gyroscope inside your body? Is that how you feel gravity? How you can tell if you're leaning forward or upside down?

I'm a boss at cleaning. You just got to get me to do it.

Suzuki: Why did you come down here--it's late?
Julian: My throat is parched.

I carved this sword at camp today. I Knight you: Super Poopy Annoying Mama!

Santa Claus should be smarter than to smoke, don't you think?

Open up your vocal chords, Mama. (Laaaa!) No, that's closing them. It's not good to close them unnecessarily. Seriously, we researched vocal chords and even saw a whole creepy slide show about them.

I pogo-sticked to school today. I did 111 in a row no-handed, and 444 with hands. At recess, I shot some baskets on my pogo stick.

(With foam yoga cylinder): Bam bam bam! (Suzuki: "I remember when you were small and I scolded you for pretending to shoot. You would say, "I'm shooting love" or "I'm shooting food to homeless people.") That's just what I was thinking about. I was just thinking it was a Bazooka Cornucopia. Bam bam bam--Hams! Bam Bam--Unripe Apples! Bam Bam--Exploding Grapefruits!

Do you want to see my Lego invention? I invented a new evolution of personal transportation. See, it's a modified jetpack...


Gnome Toilet

Suzuki: How did you size the spot for the candle in this ceramic holder you made a few years back?
Julian: I think it was supposed to be a gnome toilet originally.

When you record yourself, you can hear what you really sound like, not what you think you sound like in your mind. You always think you sound better in your mind than you actually do.

Tobi and I talk about music stuff all the time.

Suzuki: There are four new elements in the Periodic Table.
Julian: What are they? Pedaladium? Stratocastium?

Do you know why there are dimples on golf balls? Without them, they would travel half as far.

Suzuki: Roger and Ellen are such great people.
Julian: They're top-notch!

Do you know what happens when you have two candles and you blow between them? (They'll go out?) No. The tops of the flames will meet in the middle. (Why?) You don't know? (No.) You didn't learn about air pressure in school? Wow, you're not very well educated, Mama.

Let's do some competitive laughing.

Ah, you're reading my mind again, Mama. Lately, when I'm thinking something, you say it right then.

Rockets (5 years old)

Contraptions (5 years old)

Fairfax Festival (3 years old)