We are all time travelers

I scattered your laundry around your room to protect you from repetitive motion injuries. Also it gives you something soft to land on in case you fall. After all, it's not the fall that's the problem, it's the landing.

Not much can be hidden from a quiet, watchful child with good eyes.

Mama. How are rust and fire similar? Rust is oxidation, fire is rapid oxidation, which creates heat, which is why you don’t find cold fire very often. 

They should invent eating gloves.

Is it possible to paint a room so much that there’s no longer room to live in it?

The oil in Eucalyptus trees is highly flammable. I wonder if cars could run on eucalyptus oil. Eucalyptus oil is too expensive, though, right?

Oopsalan Poopsalan Mobile Hair Salon

What is the solid with the lowest viscosity?

(After some crazy singing): Do you love my beautiful, floundering harmonics?

I like the ideas in Buddhism. They seem very wise. So far, it’s the religion that seems to make the most sense.

Do you ever bet yourself? I bet myself $10 a lot.

I won $10. I just bet myself that you would come up and tell me to take a shower.

We are all time travelers.

Do you know how suction cups work? The air pressure drops when the air gets pushed out. Then the air outside the suction cup pushes against it. Do you know how we survive the air pressure that is pushing on us from outside of us? Because we breath air into our bodies which neutralizes the pressure.

Mama (assessing her newly-baked loaf): Hey, this is killer bread!
J: No, life-giver!



How many eyes do I have, Mama? Seven. Two, plus two in the back of my head, my third eye, my mind's eye and my soul's eye.

When you reach a fork in the road, go to the nearest restaurant.

I'm full. I'm like, totally hash-tag-legit full.

And now, here is something fun Juju and Baba made some years back to gift a friend. The former shoebox had a few goodies inside, too.


Unfair! Preposterous! Totally untubular!

I need to put some oil on my [sunburned] shoulders. They don't hurt anymore, but they're unsightly.

How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrinos?

I wonder how many miles my nose has run.

I learned how to fell trees yesterday. (Been reading County Wisdom and Know-How)

I come over here to put the jam on my sandwich, because it splooshes.

(During heatwave): Mama, should we put out a pail of water for the deer?

Unfair! Preposterous! Totally untubular!

Baba reads Botany in a Day at night and I read it in the day.

J: Do you know how the pistal developed?
Mama: No, how?
J: The fertile leaves got curled in and fused together to protect the ovules.
Mama: Ha! I thought you were talking about guns and you were talking about flowers!


Can you sound mean saying "bubbles"?

Can you sound mean saying "bubbles"? Try it. There's no way to make it sound mean.

I'm supposed to come up with a "big question" for my science project. Maybe calculate the velocity of an unladen swallow?

I'm kind of partial to tetrahedrons.

We used to have a bunch of dried fruit around. And now they're gone...like pickles in the wind.

Mama: Don't forget you're grounded today.
Julian: You might think so, but I'm not, really. I'm in the air, not grounded.

Mama: Julian, please stop squealing!
J: My voice is going to change and I won't be able to anymore, so I want to take advantage of it!

(After giving her a hug): Mama, you've suddenly gotten really short.

Mama, please make more plantains. I love them--make six next time. I think they're stretching out my palette.

Mama, if you didn't know the word irrelevant or relevant, what would you think it meant?

Do you know how to pop your eyeballs out? Go too deep.

What-cha-talkin' about? Shitake mushrooms about!


Thumbs up for thumbs.

We're so lucky to have thumbs! I'm trying to make a breakfast without using my thumbs. It's so difficult!

Sometimes I don't like to see pictures in books, because you end up thinking along the lines of "Oh, I've been thinking of it wrong all along".

Baba: Why don't you eat the pizza European-stye?
Julian: I use whatever finger food I can muster.

Do you know how to manufacture a burp?

I figured out the perfect thing to do an a rainy day. Play Legos while listening to an audio book in a fort in your room.

[Julian told Mama a math problem she couldn't answer. He didn't want tell her the answer, insisting she figure it out for herself.] You're trying to double me up, twist me and squeeze the answer out of me, Mama!

I don't know why I have these sudden excitement spikes, do you?

Suzuki: Wait Julian, I don't see "wash dishes" on your chart.
Baba: Yeah, he was supposed to have a "chores" section on there.
Suzuki: Maybe we should call them "duties" instead of "chores". Better connotations.
Julian: If I do "chores", I get money for them.
Baba: Hey, I don't get money for doing chores.
Julian: That's because you don't have "chores", you have "duties", Baba.

I'm throwing rotten tomatoes at you in my mind.

Wow, that's amazing--honey has such powerful surface tension!

Mama, Baba, you both should just surrender. You shouldn't have to have the last say. I know, it's hard for me, too, not to have the last say.

(Later) Suzuki: I like what you said to diffuse the argument earlier, about not having to have the last say.
Julian: You taught me that one time.

Good job, Mama. You said "sorry" for what you did. You did a general good job.

Julian: What's for dinner?
Suzuki: Rice and bean tacos.
J: Don't you guys have anything else up your sleeves? You've been faltering lately.

Mama, remember the time I put a carrot slice in your pants pocket, and you found it like a year later?


SOLD to the Man With The Walrus Mustache.

I'm not sure why, but I can never say "hi" for someone else (like on the phone, so-and-so says "hi"). It's really hard for me. I can't be a "hi" transfer machine.

I'm going down memory lane with my scars.

I was with a chicken in the garden at school today and I could have sworn I heard him squawking Beethoven's Fifth.

I know you're feeling below the weather, Mama.

I'm almost seventy pounds!

Baba: Suzuki, I don't like that pile of stuff you keep over there.
Me: I hear what you're saying with an open mind, open heart...
Julian: And an open mouth.

Knitting isn't as "clockwork-ical" as crocheting.

That seaweed salad was top of the notch.

Going once, going twice, SOLD to the man with the walrus mustache!

What are volts?

I can roll my Rs now!

Mama, what's your favorite band? Mine is the birds chirping in the morning.


Dark looks and unusable hands.

Don't do that, Mama. I'm looking at you darkly.

How old do I have to be to go on a Vision Quest?

Me: Julian, stop arguing and get upstairs.
J: Fine. But, I'm bristling at you.

Me: Sorry for dragging my feet getting out the door to the party.
J: You put on your osmium-filled shoes, Mama. (Osmium is the heaviest element in the periodic table.) Then, you put on your helium-filled shoes, flew out the door, and Baba and I were like "what happened?"

Me: How do you like the cardamom in this galette?
J: It's kind of demanding, it kind of takes over a little too much.

(Singing): It is possible, but not practical, that I would have to do the dishes!

Everybody calls their side the "good guys."

Me: Julian, take smaller bites.
J: Why? We're not dainty Victorians.

In the 19th century, you used to be able to buy a hot cross bun for a ha'penny. That's one of the reasons it's getting harder and harder to pay for stuff with coins. You almost need a wheelbarrow of money now.

I saw two teenage boys walking together, both on their cell phones!

Laughing takes all the blood from my hands. It makes my hands unusable.

(While planting kale starts): Thrive! Be well! Be constrained no longer!

Me: I know how to make good banana bread.
J: Get on making it. I'm all mouths!


You can't be involved in politics and not know the F word.

Pew, that cheese is stinky! That really takes a toll on my mood.

To me, packing for a trip is related to hoarding: Hmm, maybe I'll need this and maybe I'll need that...

Julian: You could be the next president, Mama.
Suzuki: I don't think so. You could do it.
Julian: Nah, I'd be on Town Council. Or maybe Senator or Congress. Or the National Board of Education. Maybe I could improve the math program. Or maybe a judge. Nah...Town Council.

You can't be involved in politics and not know the F word.

I think I got more of Grandpa's genes than you.

Where the heck in tarnation is my other biking glove?

I'm going to draw my teacher a very fancy flower with a long taproot, like any self-respecting flower would have. There'll be a splash of color on the petals.


Funk music, old-fashioned people, and imperfection.

Mama, I discovered reading War and Peace and listening to Cameo do not mix.

I ran a mile in five minutes and 32 seconds. Is that good? Some people walk their laps. I can't imagine not running my laps. I tried and I couldn't. Even if I'm like, "My ankle hurts, I'm not going to be able to run my laps," I still end up running my laps. I don't know why.

Mama, would you rather be in a perfect situation in an imperfect world, or an imperfect situation in a perfect world?

I have a new mantra, "I clear my mind." You can use it, Mama.

What are yoga mats made of? (Plastic foam.) How did the old-fashioned people do yoga before these mats?

(At good-night tuck-in): Now leave me with my thoughts.


Get in Touch with Your Inner Gyroscope.

What's the gyroscope inside your body? Is that how you feel gravity? How you can tell if you're leaning forward or upside down?

I'm a boss at cleaning. You just got to get me to do it.

Suzuki: Why did you come down here--it's late?
Julian: My throat is parched.

I carved this sword at camp today. I Knight you: Super Poopy Annoying Mama!

Santa Claus should be smarter than to smoke, don't you think?

Open up your vocal chords, Mama. (Laaaa!) No, that's closing them. It's not good to close them unnecessarily. Seriously, we researched vocal chords and even saw a whole creepy slide show about them.

I pogo-sticked to school today. I did 111 in a row no-handed, and 444 with hands. At recess, I shot some baskets on my pogo stick.

(With foam yoga cylinder): Bam bam bam! (Suzuki: "I remember when you were small and I scolded you for pretending to shoot. You would say, "I'm shooting love" or "I'm shooting food to homeless people.") That's just what I was thinking about. I was just thinking it was a Bazooka Cornucopia. Bam bam bam--Hams! Bam Bam--Unripe Apples! Bam Bam--Exploding Grapefruits!

Do you want to see my Lego invention? I invented a new evolution of personal transportation. See, it's a modified jetpack...


Gnome Toilet

Suzuki: How did you size the spot for the candle in this ceramic holder you made a few years back?
Julian: I think it was supposed to be a gnome toilet originally.

When you record yourself, you can hear what you really sound like, not what you think you sound like in your mind. You always think you sound better in your mind than you actually do.

Tobi and I talk about music stuff all the time.

Suzuki: There are four new elements in the Periodic Table.
Julian: What are they? Pedaladium? Stratocastium?

Do you know why there are dimples on golf balls? Without them, they would travel half as far.

Suzuki: Roger and Ellen are such great people.
Julian: They're top-notch!

Do you know what happens when you have two candles and you blow between them? (They'll go out?) No. The tops of the flames will meet in the middle. (Why?) You don't know? (No.) You didn't learn about air pressure in school? Wow, you're not very well educated, Mama.

Let's do some competitive laughing.

Ah, you're reading my mind again, Mama. Lately, when I'm thinking something, you say it right then.


Music Theory and Foot Tape

You need some encouragement, Mama. I'm going to sprinkle some encouragement on you. (sprinkle, sprinkle)

Suzuki: "I thought you said you would get ready for bed right after ice cream."
Julian: "I actually am. I'm getting in the state of mind to get ready."

(On his guitar): Guess what chord this is, Mama? (I don't know.) It's an F. Do you think it's an F7? (I think so.) A dominant or diminished 7? (I don't know.) You know--if it sounds like this....it's dominant, if it sounds like this....it's diminished. You didn't KNOW that, Mama?!

Did you know that sharks close their eyes when they attack so they won't get scratched? They use electroceptors--I think that's what they're called. Did you know they can smell one drop of blood in 10 billions drops of water?

(On his piano): Do you know what chord I'm playing, Mama? (No.) It's a modified F to C chord.

(Gliding along the carpet): Don't you just LOVE foot tape? Wheeeeee!


Surface Tension.

When you get to the north pole, there's no more "north" anywhere, right Mama?

I've trademarked "Douse and Squeal." It could be a dog wash and a car wash. And at the end, you're squeaky clean!

Who, what, where, when, how and sometimes why. That works, right?

Mama, do you know how to turn your computer off using voice recognition? I can show you...for a small fee.

Can I be your (mandolin) capo, Mama? The bridge of my nose would be a great capo, I think.

Put the pie down--don't eat it yet! I need to make a documentary of it first.

(Eyes on some water pooled on a plate): Surface tension! Do you have an eyedropper, Mama?


Faulty Craftsmanship

Suzuki: If you can't seem to fall asleep, why don't you try running up and down the stairs a few times?
Julian: I'm too tired, physically. But emotionally, I'm like ding-dong-ding-dong! It's like a spring-loaded high-suspension ping-pong with hydraulic disc brakes.

Mama, have you ever seen a bike with suspension only in the back? I have, twice, but one of them was in a book.

Can you do this, Mama? My friend Diego can bend his thumb all the way back. My elbow is double-jointed.

If you have any questions about Illustrator, let me know, Mama. I'm a big fan of keyboard shortcuts.

I need to finish "spanking up" my cricket house.

Do you know what the best built-in pad is on your body? Your buttocks.

Suzuki: We have a little time before you have to go to bed. Want to play a game?
Julian: Why don't we bust out our instruments and have some fun!

(While sprinking on dates): I'm "spanking up" my cereal.

How many drops of water do you think can fit on a penny?

This pumpkin pie isn't as good as the last one. It's clumpy and unpredictable--not predictable, like store-bought. I think it's faulty craftsmanship because when I picked it up by the crust, the actual flesh of the pie just fell down.


Ten Year-Old Portal

We're making a movie for Tobi's birthday. Do you know what it's about? Politics. It was mostly Tobi and Diego's idea, but I added to it. We are going to have our bicycle gloves. We need a way to teleport to India, so we'll use "portal gloves." Do you know what our main goal is? To reprogram the missiles, so they won't blow up places like India and Canada. It's also about Donald Duck.

Suzuki: You need to put a bookmark in this conversation so I can get ready for work. Tell me tonight.
Julian: OK, but Mama, just ONE more thing: did you know that the space toilets of today have buttock parters? Because there is zero gravity in space so it's harder for stuff to come out otherwise.

Suzuki: You've been using that word a lot. Where'd you hear "buttocks?"
Julian: I don't know...Queen Elizabeth? That's what it always reminds me of. BUT-TOCKS! (English accent)

My Lego spaceship is going to get resources. We'll use alien resources so we don't have to use earth resources. We'll get awesome materials like ground comet to make really good cement...

Triple-mega-double-decker PLEASE with a cherry on top?

Mama, I have to warn you: I took the springs out of these ballpoint pens and made Lego shocks.


All we need to have a happy life.

Three and a half years ago, Julian met Tobi in kindergarten:

Now they're in a rock band together (that's Julian on the left):

Yesterday, Tobi said: "I remember the first thing Julian said to me: 'Do you want to play airplanes'?"

What's your favorite bike tire valve, Mama? Personally, I prefer Presta because it holds air a little better.

Julian and Mama visited Amma's ashram in San Ramon last weekend. Julian says he doesn't want to wash the clothes he was wearing because he doesn't want to wash off the blessings.

Mama: We should make muffins sometime.
Julian: I want a muffin that's a reincarnation of the divine.

The one part of my body that I wish I didn't have is my belly button.

Mama: Hey, Small Fry!
Julian: I'm not a small fry, I'm a full-suspension sweet potato fry with hydraulic disc brakes.

If you want to blow the dirt out of your nose, first you lift your eyelid on one side and plug your other nostril.

That lipstick makes it look like you're trying too hard, Mama.

Mama (seeing Julian studiously looking out the window): What are you looking for?
Julian: Changes.
S: What changes?
J: Any changes.
S: Did you see any?
J: Yeah. Wind and birds.

Santa Fe, New Mexico: We visited the Museum of International Folk Art. After several hours there, we told him it was time to leave but that we'd come back some day. He said, "Good, because I haven't even begun to be done seeing this exhibit!" The next day we got kicked out of the Museum of Indian Arts and Culture at closing time.

(While listening the Bee Gees): Can you actually decrypt what they're saying, Mama? (No.)

Baba: You people need to learn not to talk at the same time.
Julian: Ideas get out of my head too fast, I'd say. I'm just feeling bouncy and exciting, like full suspension.

I think we should take advantage of the place we live. We should do more bike riding and star gazing. That's all we really need to have a happy life. We have something to do in the day and something to do at night.


Six deep breaths and a full-suspension bike.

The thing about Ryan's legs for biking is they're really good at going fast on flat, but not so good at going uphill. My legs are kind of the opposite.

Suzuki: We'll bring sketch pads to the museums tomorrow.
Julian: What--you're allowed to DO that?! Do people copy them?

Mama, I found out something about my black shoes. You can stand on your tippy-tippy toes in them!

Suzuki: I found you a magic wand at the beach.
Julian: Really?! What does it do?
Suzuki: You'll have to find out for yourself.
Julian: Can it turn anything into a full-suspension bike?

That is radically cool with a butt-shake at the end.

How fast are we driving? (20 mph.) An ostrich can run twice as fast.

Where does humming come out?

Do you know what suspension is really for, Mama? For keeping the wheels on the ground. That's why trick bike jumpers don't want much suspension.

Janusz: Why are you pacing around like that while eating?
Julian: My legs are bored.

Suzuki: Julian, what are you grateful for?
Julian: I'm grateful for feelings. I feel...happy. Just feelings...

If you take six deep breaths, it calms you down. They've done scientific experiments that show that works.

Hey Mama, I think I figured out what I want to be when I grow up! (What's that?) A person who works in a bike shop. That seems like a good job. I don't want to be a factory worker.

(Bedtime): I'm going to go lie down now and think about stuff. There's so much to think about...


Perfect happiness.

Q: Julian, what's your idea of perfect happiness?
Being left alone when I want to be with infinite books.

Note: I glanced over to see what Julian was reading and here's the first line I read: "She hadn't noticed the six foot harpoon that was sticking out of her chest."

Another Note: Julian came to work with me last week. To be safe, he brought his briefcase and his sword. Inside his briefcase were a couple fat Percy Jackson books and various alternate ties, lapel pins, and a white shirt. (He varied his look throughout the day.) He told me, "I can't take three steps around here without someone stopping to talk to me!"


Jesus sakes, Mama!

If I get all my stuff done and it floods, can I take our kayak over to (neighborhood friend) Ryan's house?

Without books, I would die.

Has any place ever run out out license plate numbers?

It must be getting pretty crowded on Mt. Olympus by now!

Which way does the earth turn?

Jesus sakes, Mama!

[ Julian got a game called Apples-to-Apples at Christmas. I didn't enjoy playing because of the annoying product placement and celebrity references -- also a kind of product placement -- (most of which are lost on us anyway). So Julian suggested removal of the offending cards. So he and Janusz "sanitized" the deck, taking out any cards they didn't like. At one point, I heard Janusz say "I'm guessing South Park is some kind of soap opera."]


Ferocious, non-native, and squished.

Mama, how do you spell "Parliament?" I want to look it up on your iPod.

I'm going to use the butt-smack technique to get myself up the stairs.

Baba's a fungi! Baba's a fungi!

I need to see that Jeep closer. I think the bike on it has disc brakes.

Help, I'm being attacked by a horrid...ugly...ferocious...non-native MAMA!

Suzuki: Janusz, that's not a hug, that's a generic "squish."
Julian (piling on top): Is this a "genetic squish?"

Roger and Ellen have to have math-y brains to plan how to do all their projects (knitting and woodworking).

Sorry I'm so "huggy" today, Mama.

(Tucking Mama into bed early): I almost forgot to sprinkle some sweet dreams on you (sprinkle, sprinkle). And some cozy chamomile...to keep you cozy!



Mama, do you like inclined planes?

Janusz: Julian, you should play music with your friend Tobi sometime.
Julian: We have different taste in music. He likes rock.

Suzuki: Let's bake something for your school fundraiser fair tomorrow.
Julian: Can't you just give the money to my school? Instead of using the money to buy the ingredients and using the gas?

I have a question for you guys. Mama, Baba, what kind of things do you have going around in your mind? Mama, I think you have music go around in your head, right? I have names and songs. Baba, what do you have going around in your head?

...That was way back in your kidhood, right Baba?

Can I please have some attention in a competitive way, like a game?

Suzuki: I put your cereal in your bowl so you just need to add the milk.
Julian: I didn’t hear the beginning, but I can infer what you said.

Mama, which one is bigger, Nepune or Uranus? Uranus. Wow, "Uranus" must be pretty big!

Mama, you're really good at going downhill on your bike but not very good at going uphill. You need to be good at both to be a good biker.

Suzuki: We're having quiet time until you're done brushing your teeth and then we'll blab and blab.
Julian: We should have blab time at the end of each day...Let's have chit chat time. The first topic will be bikes and you choose the next topic.


l'm Going to Go "Water the Mushroom"

On a walk through the forest, a delicious mushroom caught Janusz's eye. Julian was worried it might be poisonous, so, he quickly peed upon it. It was not collected.

Can you pay bills in diamonds?

(We were talking about paganism.) I think that nature is the best thing to base a religion on.

(We were talking about racial profiling by police of African-Americans.) They should treat them better, because Africa is where all the people on the earth are from.

Suzuki: Bring down another roll of toilet paper, please.
Julian: We need a toilet paper reminder.
S: What's that?
J: Basically, the last piece of paper should be made of sandpaper.

Mama, do you want to see an interesting diagram of a washing machine? Some things seem really complicated until you can take a look at how they work, and then you realize how simple they are.

Mama, look at the bottom hinge of the car door. See how complicated it is? It has different degrees so you can open it in different stages.


Who am I?

Julian went to visit an old growth redwood named Big Tree in Mendocino, CA. I told him that when I was last there, I could feel vibrations coming from the trunk.  Julian: Do you know why? The muscles of the tree are pulling water out of the ground and sending it to the top.

Suzuki: Janusz took Grandpa's ashes to the top of James Peak (on the anniversary of his death).
Julian: Could he see Grandpa from there?


With a hint of PowerBait.

I was riding my bike home yesterday and I accidentally burned some rubber!

[At this point in your life, what could you see yourself being interested in for a long time? Maybe for a career?] A paleontologist or a geologist. And I think those things might be related. I definitely don't want to be an office worker when I grow up, that's for sure! Science, technology, math, music, art. Cooking wouldn't be bad. If I had a farm, I could drive the Kubota.

(Upon tasting the trout they caught in Yosemite, Julian declared it "super good, with a hint of PowerBait.")

Come on, Baba, tell us all the funny stories you have in that brilliant mind of yours.

Don't water that plant so much, Mama. It's a native.

Right now I'm not into fast things so much as strong things. Fast things are too loud. What's the use of a fast car? Strong things are more useful.

[Julian, want to come with me on a mini-adventure?] No thanks. I'm having too much fun right now with paper, pencils, and duct tape.

Let's do something fun. Let's play instruments together. Let's make something up.

Mama, you don't have enough odd colors of makeup.

[How much do you think it rained, Julian?] Oh, about a gallon.

What is rubber cement used for anyway? You know what I use it for? To make fake boogers.

I'm trying not to ride in a car as much as possible this year.

Hey Mama, will you get me a belly button protector? Or will you get me a belly button detector?

[Have a great time at astronomy camp, Julian.] OK, and I'll try to get some knowledge!

When you come home from a long trip, our wood stairs out front smell really good--like home.

Thanks for leaving my skylight open last night. I heard a Peregrine Falcon!


Nine. To the nines.

(Opening his gift using fingernail scissors to preserve the newspaper comics wrapping): I think Grandma taped it so much because whatever's inside it might try to escape.

[The gift inside was the book Physiology and Biochemistry in Modern Medicine (1922) with a secret cut-out bottle shape inside that Grandpa had made long ago.]: I guess "Modern" isn't so modern anymore! And I guess it's shaped like a medicine bottle because it's a book about medicine. 

[For his birthday dinner, Julian asked that we dress up in our blue shirts and insisted we wear pins. He also wore a bowler hat (not pictured). He used some of his own money to extra-tip the waiter at his favorite Chinese restaurant, sadly going out of business.]

(Re: the gift of a mammoth flashlight/spotlight thing, also from Grandma): LOOK WHAT I GOT!!! 

The thing about tongue twisters is that you need to say them out loud or your tongue doesn't get twisted.

Whenever you guys don't know that I have a tooth under the pillow, the tooth fairy doesn't come. I think you guys call her. What's the tooth fairy's number?

I'm going to play the violin because my harmonicas are tasting really bad right now.

Mama, I have two tips for you on your bowing. Try to stay more like this and like this (demonstrating).

Can I play your tender (tenor) guitar?

(Coming up the stairs in the morning): I skipped every other step to help wake myself up!

(When Flycatcher babies were nesting in the eave of our front door): I have an idea. Let's avoid using that door and go around.

(When asked why he likes to go fishing): For the joy of catching the fish and feeding my family.

We're not fishers, Mama. We're anglers.

Mama, do you want to cast off the deck? It's really fun!


Baseball is about losing.

Baseball is about losing. I started reading Grandpa's book about baseball.

I'm neutral. I'm not a little kid or a grown-up.

You know what would be a really important present for me? A disk battery. I put a motor onto a paper airplane and the AAA battery was too heavy.

[At Mama's work, Julian was sent to bring the CEO to a meeting room to a signing of a million dollar loan agreement. On his way there, the CEO said, "Wait a minute, I might need a pen for this." Julian said, "Yes, it IS a signing." Then in the meeting room, the CEO said, "OK, where do I sign?" Julian, pointing, said, "It says 'Sign Here' right here."]

I'm a good dancer. I'm good at the Staying Alive and the Egyptian Boogie.

What's your favorite coordinate?

I'm going to play Twister against myself!

S: Can you find alternative words for rad/cool/awesome that are less boring?
J: How about "fuzzy?" "You're fuzzy. You're smooth. You're silky, Mama!"



I am from
I am from the jurassic period
I am from the ocean
I am from the color green
I am from my mom
I am from lakes
I am from everywhere
I am from the moon
I am from leo
I am from the night
I am from the sky
I am from fun
I am from Titus
I am from non-fiction
I am from nature
I am from my self
I am from Aikido
I am from my home
I am from Monty Python
I am from Pangea
I am from pie
I am from the number Pi
I am from penguins
I am from peas
I am from model trains

May my heart always be open to Earth, tree, books, school, life, butterflies, superman, model train, baseball, piano, the color green, the water, the redwoods, trains, especially the sound of model trains, my mom and dad, dinosaurs, the color green, climbing trees, nature, legos, airplanes, basketball, summer, fall, winter, spring, world, grass, ketchup, and math. All these things my heart is open to!

Can you hear the ants marching in a line, one line going to their nest and one going to the food source?
I love to hear the bubbles coming out of the ketchup bottle, it goes into the pita where my lamb burger is. After that when I eat it, it tastes good.
Can you hear lizard skittering down my path? I don't recommend catching them because they might have ticks.
I love to hear the alarm clock when it rings in the morning at 7:00.
Can you hear the clicking of LEGOS when you put them together and take them apart?

I love being in nature with trees, grass, plants and animals. I also love being at home with my model trains. It's very nice to make a huge layout with lots of trains. I think it's nice when eating my muesli that my mom made. It tastes soooo goooooddd. It's nice and sweet. I can taste all the ingredients, quick oats, raisins, cranberries. I love it!!!!!!!!

In the stillness of the night I see dragons soaring above the tree tops, with moon light shining on its smooth wings. I imagine little Lego people coming to life, building little buildings and when I am about to wake up they take everything down and make it look the same. On the weekend when I play with my Legos I like to make little scenes with my Legos.


S: You are a good poet, Julian.
J: Everyone is. You just let your words flow.


Sneeze With Your Eyes Open

Mama, do you like arrays? (Would I like a raise?) No, ARRAYS.

I wonder if there is such a thing as a Pronouncing Bee.

Mama, when you grow up and you're a scientist, what kind of scientist do you want to be?

Have you heard of the kind of poker where every time you lose, you take a piece of clothing off? Kristen told me about it.

You're a Myosaurus dinosaur. Do you know what that means? That you're a good mom. A very good mom.

What is your favorite paleontologist tool, Mama?

Suzuki: Can I have a kiss?
Julian: Only if you promise to sneeze with your eyes open next time.

Is there reception on the moon?

Julian (watching Suzuki apply eyeliner): You look weird.
Suzuki: That hurts my feelings.
Julian: I mean, why don't you just look like yourself?

I'm going upstairs to listen to music. I haven't gotten my daily dose of funk in a long time.

If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?

If you were President, and you could change one thing about the U.S., what would it be?

Preserve! Preserve! Preserve The Mama! In Amber! Make Sure, Make Sure She Doesn't Die. Preserve the Mama!

(Pointing to the weave on the rattan): See, I'm like Grandpa. It skipped over a generation.

I like to talk to "X" best. "Y" doesn't have enough concepts.

(To the tune of Woody Guthrie's Little Sack of Sugar): "Little hunk of sugar, I could eat you up." Mama, from now on, your name is Hunk O' Sugar.

Mama, do you promise not to do anything interesting while I brush my teeth?


eight and a half Stink Bushels

Mama, would you please be so kind as to stop distracting me?

What's your favorite animal, Baba? Mine is probably Dust Mite. No, Tardigrade! I'm going to write a story, "Tardigrade Goes to School."

Is there a measurement for stinking, like pounds or miles? That would be so cool.

What's your favorite thing to do, Mama? I think dancing, doing crossword puzzles, and skateboarding are my favorites.

Can you put some more Funk on my music player?

(Whilst snuggling in bed): Let's get in our futuristic submarine. It's got a green windshield. That makes it kind of futuristic and alien-ish, right?


The Julian Inquisition.

How many organisms are in the world? How many organisms are in me? How many atoms are in the world? Do more and more atoms come into the world? No? Then, how do we grow? How many countries are in the world? How many cities and towns and things? Who's alive that has the most farts in the world?

Mama: Those sticks are now off limits.
J: I know where you put them.
M: You can't touch them.
J: I can if I time travel.

Why do we have to watch a movie (drama)? [Because we like them.] Well, I don't. They're too hypnotizing for me.

I can't wait for next weekend. We're going to watch a whole Monty Python movie...and here's the fun part: They have really strong accents!

There could be a game Who Can Smell Garlic From the Farthest? The winner gets a whole head of garlic--or maybe two--and everybody else gets a clove.

Isn't it interesting that you can bring up a concept and a whole conversation just pops up? Because the chains link. Sometimes they can go on for hours. Hey, no writing down!

Could we ever be completely touching? [Well, I guess we were when you were inside me.] But didn't we have force fields around us? [Maybe so.] It was nice being there. You didn't have to pay taxes, there's good food, a nice temperature. I never got sick, I don't think.


Noisemakers and flying tanks.

(on trampoline) What if I jumped up to the moon and came down so fast that I didn't get burned by the atmosphere. And I didn't even take a breath? Actually, I just took one breath to have enough courage to make it back!

You know what's useful? When I drop something (eating food at the table), my legs go magically in!

("Boob Man," who has good milk and poisonous milk, plus a giant skateboard, flying tank, etc.)

I'm a caveman with modern tools.

In my class, I'm the one that savors things the most (food).

You know what my favorite thing in the world is? I mean, I like Legos, but my favorite thing is getting attention from Mama!

When are you coming back upstairs? Three moments equals a while, remember that.

I think they should put noisemakers in electric cars...not too loud.

I don't want to eat anymore before Aikido class. Tell Baba that and tell him very firmly.

(Me: What's your favorite fruit?) I think coconut is a genius fruit. You can use the shell as a bowl, you can drink the milk, and eat the flesh.


Oddness, Continued.

Let's have an opera of burps!

Yesterday I looked up a bad word in the dictionary. The F word. (What did it say?) I don't remember. (So we looked it up again. Intransitive verb, transitive verb, noun, AND interjection!)

I think of Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday as even days and Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday as odd ones. I don't know why.

(Sometimes you have tantrums when you don't want to do what we ask you to, Julian.) That's because I always plan out my days.

Double-pleases help you get what you want.

A man walks into a bar and says ouch. Why does he say ouch? Because he walks into a bar!


Blue fuzz and electrical cords. And a side of poo.

I want you to tuck me in real tight tonight. Can you bungee-cord my sheets around me so they will stay on?

This is a nice dictionary. (Mama: You can have it if you like. I never use it anymore, I just look stuff up online.) I'll show my kids some day. "This is how we used to look up words."

(Julian has been bringing his teddy bear Baby Love to school in his backpack this week.) Baby Love has ear chips. He can hear everything from inside the backpack. I have a microphone and we can talk with each other. He can hear everything in my class so he knows a lot. I don't have a Far-Away System so he can't hear from home. It only extends to about the school grounds.

Baby Love is singing Grandpa's favorite song! "zippity doo dah, zippity ay..."

(Julian has been carrying around a small ball of blue fuzz in his pocket that he says is a piece of the sky. He apparently grabbed it while jumping on the trampoline.)

I think of these like red crystals, Mama. Don't they look like red rubies growing in a cave? (pomegranate seeds)


This huge sunflower is the logo of my writing. On cards, I usually put it on the back.

I'm going to get a quarter cup of poo for my recipe. It's not for humans, it's a recipe for flies.

(Prior to Tobi's Star Wars birthday party)
Suzuki: Julian, let's wash you hair.
Julian: We don't need to. It'll look more Star War-ish. Because Jedis' hair is more dusty.

Julian: Did you know that if there's a crack in a cord, it doesn't matter? Do you know why? Because the electricity doesn't stop just because there's a crack. It just goes through if there's something covering it.
Suzuki: Why are you thinking of that?
Julian: I was just thinking about electricity. And electrical tape. And cords.

Did you know you're always touching something? Even if you're naked and you're jumping, you're always touching something.

Are there elements that haven't been discovered yet? (Yes.) Are they in places that are hard to get to, like big caves?

(Julian was snickering to himself.)
Suzuki: What are you thinking about? What's so funny?
Julian: Oh, I was just thinking something funny. I was thinking about some flowers that are electric and they sway back and forth, like there's wind. And the petals are going around like those windmills and they're making the wind!


Sing it again (and again), Sam.

Julian wearing the groom's hat at Marla and Bruce's wedding

I know someone who wore the same socks for eleven days and I think he wore them longer but I can guarantee he wore them for eleven days.

J: (sigh) I can't wait for school to get back. I like camp, but I like school better.
S: What do you like about it?
J: Learning.
S: Learning is pretty exciting.
J: It's more exciting for me than some. Tobi and I both love learning. Tobi is better than me at math but we're about the same in reading. Tobi is really good at explaining math. He is really patient, not like me. You have to be really patient to explain about math.

(at the hospital with his grandpa):
S: You could go run around outside now.
J: No, I'm staying with Grandma. Where she goes, I go.

If you sing a song, always sing it three times. Once for the people before you, once for the people now, and once for the people who come after you. (I assume Julian picked this up from his nature camp, where they have been learning Native American traditions and skills.)

Suzuki: If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
Julian: I think my life is perfect the way it is. (pause...) I would have more playdates.

Julie is the same age as Janusz. She is really funny and bright for her age.

J: What should we talk about?
S: The meaning of life.
J: No, let's talk about what I should do for work.

(Perhaps auto mechanic? My car's "check your tires" light went on a couple days after I had my car serviced. I said, "Darn, now I have to go back and have them check my tires." Julian said, "They probably just forgot to reset the button after checking the tires. I know how to do it. There's a RESET button in the little trunk that's in front of the passenger's seat (the glove compartment) and you just push it." He had read it in the manual. And it did work!)



Today, I was reading about this volcano that's been erupting in Hawaii for 30 years! The lava is oozing out. It's not one of those with explosions--it's oozing out into the ocean. It's the only place that new land is being created.

Suzuki: Your face got skinny since you've been so sick all last week.
Julian: I know. I like it better because it looks more like a head instead of like a ball.

The hole on the top of the whale used to be its nose. It moved back over time.

Say this five times fast: IRISH WRIST WATCH!

The funniest thing would be to put a bunch of clothes on the ceiling fan (blades) and then turn the fan on. Maybe we could do that for my birthday party.

Did you know that blood isn't really liquid? It's those little round things that are kind of flat. (Suzuki: Blood cells?) I saw this thing that was as small as a blood cell that had arms that held the cell and a thing came up over the top and gave it a shot! (A tiny robot.)

Come on, Smiley Face! Let's drive the plane to Mexico. But first we have to stop at a couple other places to help with the violence. (Suzuki: We can help stop the violence?) Yes, with our smiley faces and other stuff.

I can't wait until I can drive. Anyways, I already know how.

I found something to make my hair look good. Orange juice! [He's been "styling" it with juice from school.]

You know how in Mexico, the graves have those little pots for flowers? If you had a grave there, I would plant flowers for you and take care of them and water them every day. I'd make a little sprinkler system.

I really like this bracelet we made at Nature After School. It's (braided) deerskin. They rub the animal's brains all over it to tan it.

Tobi would make an excellent school teacher. He's got lots of patience!

Suzuki: I can't play catch with you now because I have other fish to fry.
Julian: I can help you fry them! I can help you with anything you're doing.

(While discussing the fugitive Dmitri Storm): When he was young, did he know he was going to be a robber? How did he become one?


Slow Food, Julian Style

I got inspired yesterday in Miss Julie's class. I made a tree with lots of texture on it and my friends said they really liked it and so I got inspired to make Baba a tree for his birthday.

Baba has such a small repertoire. He has so many clothes that he never wears.

I am a really good origami person.

Mama:  I'm not made of money, you know.
J:  I know you're not made of money, you're made of music.

I like how the flavors in this soup go together. Nothing like pops out. It's not black and white.

Mama:  Julian, I like that little theme you composed on the piano.
J:  When you get good at photographing, we'll make a movie and I'll write the theme song.

Sometimes I catch myself doing something random.

Don't eat so fast. You'll be able to get more taste out of it.

Mama:  When are you going to be grown-up enough for us to get a new table (that you won't scratch)?
J:  In three weeks, two days, at ten o'clock and 50 seconds.

Let's make a human knot.


A triple-sound-proof room will be required.

When I die, I know what I want to do with my body. I want it to go to a party for me.

Suzuki (watching Julian chop bok choy): So, are you "knife-certified?"
Julian: Yes.
S: So, you got certified at camp?
J: No, I just got good at it in my "late six."

(Hugging Mama) We agree on this.

S: You have a pretty good vocabulary, Julian.
J: I use words even if I don't know them. I just estimate what they mean.

Janusz: Everyone has a TV.
Suzuki: Not everybody.
Julian: Not old-style people, like us.

I went from dancing to laughing to coughing.

We can build a machine that brings David and Julie over every day. It goes really fast. It breaks first, then you start flumping along and then you fall out, then you get back in. And you make sure your instruments are all OK and you start up again and you go flumpety-flumpety-flump until the thing breaks. And then you're here!

I'm your "eggy."

When I have kids, I'm not going to tell them about sugar. I'm just going to feed them healthy stuff.

Julian(discussing what instrument he'll play when he's in 5th grade): How about the fog horn? That's cool. I would play in a triple-sound-proof room, but the whole world would shake! Uh-oh, the earth is no longer in the sun's orbit!

Let's do some really good snuggling. (Hugging) I'm giving you all the love I have for you. All my love.


A barnacle-made-for-two.

You know what I'm interested in and like to think about? Getting all of the somethings in the world and putting them in one place. Like all the chickens in the world. Putting them here. Maybe one flock of chickens would take up our whole living room.

You are the socket of my eye.

I can't be a foot away from you, Mama. Let's be a barnacle-made-for-two.

Let's just take our hate and put it in the garbage. Actually, the compost, so it can turn into something good.

[dressed up with a tie and pin-striped vest] I'm a hotel manager! (What do you do as hotel manager?) I...uh...look for walls that aren't that good and I replace them. I use a sledgehammer!

You know what I want for my birthday? A sledgehammer.

[at the Food Bank, in honor of MLK] We're not leaving until this place is BLAZING clean!

I'm going to have 100 kids. And Mama, you will have to make breakfast for them. Actually, you'll only have to make one and there will be 99 robots to make the rest.

[at the end of our See-if-you-can-get-out-the-door-to-school-without-anyone-yelling Contest] Mama, it succeeded! I'm out the door!

VIDEO: How to Tie a Tie, starring Julian.


I think this was the nicest day of my whole life.

Can we please listen to some Irish tunes? I need some Irish tunes.

I know a lot of tunes. Baba thinks they all sound the same, but they don't at all. They're completely different.

I want us to have a laughing party. The goal is to have everybody laughing at the same time about the same thing. First, you have to get your tummy muscles warmed up!

I had a funny dream. We were hiking and saw mushrooms floating in the air. The kind that have dots on them. When they were babies, they were in the ground. Then they started floating...

It's funny how shoelaces are really only shoelace.

I think this was the nicest day of my whole life. [Mama gave him a haircut, then took him to get ice cream at The Scoop except they were intercepted by a free horse-drawn carriage ride through town first. Later, they went to a big pierogi-making party with Janusz's band of Poles.]

I like to burp as much as I can.


This pocket is soundproof.

I know how to tell if the tooth fairy is real. First, you don't tell your parents when you tooth is wiggly. Then, you don't tell them when your tooth falls out, and put it under your pillow.

Mama, how does this (something on the stereo) work? Oh! Wow, by just following my brain a little bit, I figured it out.

In wonder if those dials (car speedometer and RPM-ometer) have motors, or if they work by pressure.

This pocket is sound-proof. Really, it is.

(At Mama's office): Your work is like magic.It's like magic to me, Mama. I might work here when I'm old.

It's three to two. I hope you win the next game and then we'll have a tie again. That was fun.

(Referring to his first adult tooth coming in, and the fact that it's more jagged than his baby teeth): It shouldn't be like a pizza cutter--so smooth--it should be more like a wood saw.

Bonus exclamation from Mama's visitng mom: Oh Golly Moses!


We are scientists.

We are scientists. We see interesting stuff where other people see yucky stuff.

(Before falling asleep): What's the tallest thing in the world? How do you squirt a tomato? Sometimes I want to talk, but I can't think of a subject to do, so I talk about the first thing I can think of, like "how do you squirt a tomato" or something.

(In Yosemite, after a very long hike up to Nevada Falls and back, Julian looked tired and Janusz said, Poor Juju. Julian replied): I'm not poor. I have a good Baba, a good family, and more than one good friend. I'm not poor.

So, who's going to win the election? Will there be some big parades when someone wins?

I wish I had more homework.

This one doesn't make sense to me. (During connect-word-to-illustration homework with the word "jet" and a simple drawing of an airplane.) Because it doesn't have any jets.

I know a way to wiggle your tooth. You put your finger on it and take a ride in the car and it get wiggled. (Lost his first tooth 10/16/12)

(During family house cleaning):  I like doing little things like polishing. It's actually kind of fun for me. I'm just that kind of person. I like the kind of things like polishing or vacuuming, but I don't really like putting stuff away.

My favorite cleaning house sport is vacuuming.

A lot of people have trouble starting to clean. But a lot of times, you just have to convince your body to do it and then you can do it pretty easily. Can I go biking now? I certainly deserve it.

If there was no gravity, people would just float around and we couldn't control ourselves. So, it would be cool if we had little jets in places so that we could turn (sound effects).


Make mine a double.

When I'm old enough, can I take one of your jobs?

Julian: I had a double ice cream today. I've moved on to double ice creams.
Suzuki: What did you have?
Julian: I got vanilla honey lavender and mint chocolate swirl. I didn't really like the chocolate one.
Suzuki: Why not just get both scoops with the vanilla honey lavender?
Julian: You can DO THAT?!!

I'm so glad you are my mom!

S: Who do you want to have over for your birthday?
J: Tobi, Cordelia, and Zane.
S: OK.
J: (pause...) And later I want to have another, bigger party with lots of people!
S: Oh, you're just thinking of the presents now...I don't think we really need to do that.
J: (smiling) Yeah.

Julian: Maybe we should wear goggles to cut the onions. (They worked great!)

(One day, Mama was struck by Norovirus, or something like it and Julian stayed at her side, providing constant care.) Mama, is there anything you need? Would you like a glass of water? I'll get you a towel.(He got me ice, made me tea, and much more. That night, before going to bed): You don't have to leave me asleep tonight. If you need ANYTHING, just wake me up!


Blind dogs and optical illusions.

Did you know that some dogs guide other blind dogs? That have a special leash between them.

Never say never...oops.

Juju: How old is your car, Baba?
Baba: 14.
Juju: It's a teenager. Do you think it will get to grow up?

Suzuki: You guys should have come on that hike with me. I saw some cool tracks.
Julian: What did they look like?
Suzuki: They had three straight lines.
Julian: Oh, I know what made them: Yodas.

That (long, black) dress makes you look taller. Some people might think you grew!

Julian: I'm always on-call.
Suzuki: For your job?
Julian: Yes.
Suzuki: What do you do?
Julian: I can't tell you, it's too complicated. I can't even sleep in my own jammies because I have to have everything on at all times.

What spell should I use to cool this barszcz (soup)? Coolamah, coolamah, coolamah...FEY!

I need one more hand for putting on the ketchup. I just need one more. I usually won't use it, but for ketchup.

You're making me itchy with your voice.

We're going to have one "pretend" a night. We're going to pretend going upstairs is part of it. We will pretend to sail into my room. We don't really have a space for you in the boat, so you will water ski on the side.

If you roast apples enough, it tastes like apple pie. And I think that's what we're going to do in Yosemite. Baba is going to try to remember.

[And I just rediscovered this photo of Julian's door and his old friend Lena:]


Flash Playdates and Mama Zombies

S: Tobi is coming over tomorrow for a playdate.
J: Sometimes I have like "flash playdates." Like I don't even know about them. Like flash floods in the desert.

(Tobi and Julian, Desert Explorers. Made at school.)
It's my "specialest" thing.
Tobi: It would be good if we lived in houses right next to each other. We would build a tunnel. We'd ask the government to do it.

Let me hug you! Let me dance you! Let me kiss you!

See Julian's first ballet recital!

Mama, I love you. I wouldn't be alive without you.

Mama, when you die, I'm going to make a sculpture of you with arms up to hug that has a motor that makes it move and says, "I love you, Juju...I love you, Juju...I love you, Juju..."

S: Julian, I'm going to need your utmost cooperation this week.
J: My un-most cooperation?
S: No, your utmost.
J: I'll give you my un-most cooperation. Here it is!

(Tobi made this telescoping Lightsaver for Julian.)

J: This light saver is good because it saves the light, so it saves electricity.Wow -- 360 million -- that's how much light it saved. 360 thousand light capsules!
Janusz: How long will that last?
J: About half a day. 360 thousand million trillion hundred -- that'll last one day. 360 thousand million trillion hundred scoillion, jillian, (etc.) -- that'll last a decade!

An apple a day keeps the doctors in a different country. No, in a different universe. A different galaxy. Maybe the Star Wars Galaxy...

S: Julian, do you want to see a video of yourself in the school play?
J: No, I know what I look like and I heard myself.

See Julian's desert school play. New, improved footage taken by Janusz.

You're the "loviest" mama I've ever seen. Because you love me so much.

Janusz: Julian, your science fair certificate has the same gold star as I got on my Juniper Networks certification.
S: Wow you guys, I guess I need to get a gold star!
J: Oh, I'll get you one. All I need is a rocket.

S: I like real clowns, but I don't like it when you clown around at dinner.
J: I'll be a real clown. What do real clowns do?

Hey Mama, we were on the same pitch, but we were saying different things.

You're the boss of carrying stuff up from the car.

I sprouted from the most beautiful egg ever.

(School choir performance line-up.)
with his good friend Zane
J: Tonight I don't want a book, Baba. Let's talk. I want you to tell me something interesting. Something that I don't already know.
Janusz: I'm very tired. I'm not sure I can think of something off the top of my head. If you have a specific question, I can try to find an answer for you.
J: When cars have front-wheel drive, how can the engine turn the wheels side-to-side and still make them turn around?

S: Julian, please sit down at the table.
J: OK, I'm sling-shotting myself there.

You try the Mexican chili hot chocolate first, and then if you can't describe it in a really good way, I won't have any.

See Airplane Lavatory Self-Portraits in the Flemish Style


A Day for Laughter Hath Been Proclaimed!

(Early Friday morning): Let's have today be "Laughing Day." Let's laugh as much as possible. 
(Later that day): We should make "Laughing Bread!"

(End of day): We had SO MUCH laughing today! It was so fun!

In Julian's ballet class, Teacher Lily plays a game with the kids sitting with their thighs pressed out and the bottoms of their feet pressed together. She pretends to throw treats into their "baskets." After class, the teacher quietly told me that when she asked him what he wanted in his basket, Julian said, "Nothing." She asked, "Nothing?" He replied, "I already have everything I need." She said, "I never heard that before. Usually they want candy or something like that!"

Mama, I made something for you. You have to try it. A papaya seed and a chive wrapped in a basil leaf. Isn't it good? (It was!)

I see a lot of animals on the bathroom wall, Mama. Come look! There are two elephants, a bear, and a rabbit. Be aware, they all have eyes. Oh, there's a goldfish and I found a monkey. And I see a Saguaro Cactus!

I made a new Lego kit that has all the parts for a Pterodactyl. Do you want me to plug the vehicle into the Pterodactyl now?

Ro-sham-bo, (heart shape)! Let's say that Heart "beats" everything else, because it has love!

NOTE: Julian did a fine job in his role as a Saguaro (The Cactus, Tall and Grand) in his kindergarten play:

Click here to watch for Julian's Kindergarten Cactus Play!


Unicycles, Surfboards, and Love Contraptions

Did you know we have switches in our body? Yes. Lots and lots of switches. Focus! Switch--not focused! And back ON--focused! ... Muscles--OFF. (collapses)

If there's enough birds, could they carry a person in the air? If there's enough birds?

God is the dad of earth and Mother Earth is the mother of earth, right?

Did you know that some people are making black hole blasters that can go into black holes and blast back out? (Suzuki: Oh, really?) Yes, people are helping me make one in the underworld.

Look what I made (out of Legos). He has a unicycle under his surfboard! He's going to ride right into the ocean.

I'm going to tell you what I wish. I wish people didn't take up so much space.

Yay! I love these cards that Grandpa makes hisself. I love them so much because they're like stories.

This space shuttle is a love machine. I'm making a real love machine for you, Mama. A lot of them are fake because they're really expensive, but I got it for you. It's a real one. This space shuttle will never deliver bills to you.

Julian (after hearing Suzuki singing the theme from Barber of Seville): You're annoying, Mama. 
Suzuki: Hey, that hurts my feelings.
Julian: I'm sorry that you're annoying and I love you very much.

I'm going to make you a trophy for the best cereal in the world.

Don't look at me when you have the stuff (dye) in your hair. It makes my taste buds feel weird.|

I love you, Mama. And I can't even tell you how much. Way bigger than anyone could describe.

Julian: (Burp.) You're welcome. (Burp.) You're welcome.
Suzuki: You're welcome?
Julian: You're welcome in my burping factory.

I'm setting up the love contraption. It sends out love and takes away the bad love...that's moldy. When love gets moldy, it turns into hate. It takes that away and turns it into love. This guy (Legos again) activates the love contraption.

Suzuki: Can you read this?
Julian: No, I'm too full for reading...and a little too lazy, too.

I have so much love that even if you put it in your whole body and Baba's body and all the stars and the sun, there would still be so much more.

I have multiple brains.

After the earth is done, it will become Jesus. Because all the planets are named for gods, like Jupiter and Pluto...


You're the heating element in my pickle.

Mama, you're the motor in my fan. You're the filament in my lightbulb. You're the paint in my picture. You're the key to my mind.

Can really hot water make a fire? If you pour it on wood?

Suzuki (after having employed the old "I've got your nose" trick): Hey, I've got your nose!
Julian: You don't have my nose. I have my own private nose and each time I get a new, improved model when you take it.

Juju (playing with legos): We're just waiting for a concept to come up...I know! This is a short-route, one-person dizzer!

I do not like what is going on with this world. Some things I like, but a lot I do not. (With a disgusted tone): In my school, almost every class has a projector!

I don't like shrimps to eat, but I like shrimps the animals. They're really cute.

Can we get a spring box for my mattress and put it next to your bed so we can all sleep together? I want to be with you as much as possible. Being together is what life's about.

Janusz: Julian, I thought you said you were dying of hunger and now you're not eating and playing with that puppet and rubber band.
Julian: I guess I was dying for something to be interesting.

Julian: I like to quietly practice other people's voices.
Suzuki: Maybe you'd like to be an actor.
Julian: No, I want to be a dancer.

Thank you for getting me a napkin, Baba. You're the best...You're welcome for saying you're the best.

A leaf was jumping down the street. It was so funny!

(On a fire road hike) Tracks are an offering to God from trucks.

I don't think I'd be a good harmonica player because after I play for some time, my breath feels weird.

Mama, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to guess in a special way--guess more slowly, so you don't just say, "I give up."

Suzuki: A speech therapist is going to come to your class.
Julian: But I don't want to lose my accent.


The Nutcracker and The F Word

Mama, when you cut my hair, could you make a big curl on one side, like a phone on the side of my face? Like I'm talking on a hair phone?

J: Looks like I'm going to be a shooting star today.
S: But shooting stars have clean teeth.
J: Shooting stars don't really have teeth. They have gills and they breathe in dust. And if they crash into a star, they stop for a snack.

J: Can I get my own tape dispenser?
S: OK.
J: Thank you, Mama. You are the sweetest. You and Baba are the sweetest.

(Pointing into his yogurt): Look, Mama. It looks like God. Like a person with wings.

There's a store that's named for me and Tobi. TJ's. T and J!

J: What's the "F word," Mama?
S: What do you know about it?
J: I know it's the worst word there is. What is it?
S: F#%@
J: What does it mean?

What if you did knit-two, purl-one, knit-two, purl-one and mixed it all up? Let's do that, Mama. All the time, we'll be together, knitting.

J: In school, we're learning about classical music and The Nutcracker.
S: DUM, ba da da DUM bum, BUM bum BAH!?
J: DUM, ba da da DUM bum, BUM bum BAH!
S: Did you know that it's a ballet? Would you like me to rent the video for us to watch?
J: Nah...I just want to see it live.

J: Baba, will you get me an iPhone?
B: What do you need an iPhone for?
J: I don't know...I heard someone at school say his parents are going to get him one when he's 14.

Mama, do you know the difference between hardware and software? Hardware is like the metal things and software is like things on the computer, so it's like a whole different subject.

What if you could just walk into the night and stay in the night, or you could just walk into the day? It would be good for the desert because it gets so hot.



Julian: This soup is a little spicy.
Suzuki: Very slightly.
Julian: Very slightly? That makes no sense.

Look, Mama, I'm drawing constellations. The Nine Brothers and The Wallet make the Diamond of Beauty. And they're all part of the Starry Night constellation. And I made another constellation, The Helpful Boomerang.

At school, we're slowly slipping away from learning about Native Americans.

I am very good at copying sounds. Caw! Caw! That's how most people make crow sounds. I do it like real crows sound. I'd be a very good person to keep an animal because I could speak to them in their language.

I'm going to remember to have a bad dream tonight. (So you can come to my bed?) Yes.

I know the best way to play Ro-sham-bo. Everybody always does Rock because it's the easiest. So I always do paper.

(At bedtime) I got the prize. The best baba and the best mama in the world.

I am thankful for my home, books, the water, and grass fires. And floods.

What if this were an energy pump and there was a tube on each end and it would pump the water? Your glass would be full. Wouldn't that be cool?

Julian : Your office is beautiful but you're hogging all the pictures. You should put them all around the house.
Suzuki: There aren't a lot of spaces available on the walls in the rest of the house.
Julian: Don't forget ground art and ceiling art. Isn't that a good idea?

Julian: Who are you going to marry, Mama?
Suzuki: I'm already married Julian. But, you've been thinking a lot these things lately. Have you been thinking about who you're going to marry?
Julian: Yes.
Suzuki: Who?
Julian: Toby. Boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls.
Suzuki: That's right.
Julian: And then we'll find a girl we really, really like and then "ka-BOOM."
Suzuki: "Ka-BOOM?"
Julian: We'll have a baby...Then there will be three people married.
Suzuki: You'll marry the girl too?
Julian: Maybe. We don't know yet.

Suzuki: Julian, how come you never talk about hot lava anymore?
Julian: It's all gone. There are two suns, a good sun and a bad one that stole all the hot lava from Earth.

Smile, Mama! Have a smile, my baby! Smile as big as a house. As big as a watermelon. So big you have to tie it on top of your car. You need a big truck.

How many minutes in a day? How many seconds in a day? ... Can you explain the fourth dimension to me now?

[Julian learned how to knit K1.]


Dark Vadar and Accumulation Systems

Julian: Mama, I'm setting up a system that any time someone drops something, it's mine. A drill tip and a penny. Mine! Do you like that system?
Suzuki: That's a funny system.
Julian (later, when there's the sound of something crashing onto the floor): Yay!
Suzuki: Immersion blender. Yours!
Julian: Well, how about only small things will be mine?

(On the trampoline): My cheeks are so big that I can feel them bouncing up and down!

Julian: What balls do you know how to play?
Suzuki: You mean like what sports?
Julian: Yes.
Suzuki: I never really learned any of those things.
Julian: I'll teach you!
Suzuki: Alright, thanks. And who taught you?
Julian: I just accumulated it.

Julian: Would you rather wake up in the morning and your house was all covered in lettuce or would you rather to wake up in the morning and your house was all covered in asphalt?

Julian (on Halloween night): Halloween is about being scary. Next year I want to be Dark Vadar.
Suzuki: Sure, if you can figure out how to make it yourself.
Julian: Like a mask made of paper mache? Wait, I'm gong to wear a different costume. I'm going to quickly go make a Dark Vadar suit. (This was at 5:55pm and it was already dark. He came down soon after and said he'd stick with the Doctor Dragon hybrid costume he had created earlier.)

Julian: We're studying Native Americans. I have a native American name. It's Eagle Horn. I thought of it myself.

[Julian met Roger's grandson Oscar in Sebastopol. Oscar asked Julian about his dad.]
Oscar: "Is he Irish or something?"
Julian: "No, he's Polish."
Oscar: "So, is he from the North Pole then?"



Suzuki: Suddenly you look older!
Julian: Why?
Suzuki: I guess you're just growing up...
Julian: Why did you make that face?
Suzuki: Because for mamas, it's bittersweet. It's wonderful to watch your kid grow up, but there is also a separation that's hard.
Julian: I won't! ... I'll separate, but I'll be with you most of the time.

S: Did you see the moon?
J: Oh, it's the cute kind of moon. The little sliver.

S: I like those cuffs on your trousers.
J: They're more like a space suit--like they're keeping the bottom squeezed in.

(While building with Legos): No one talk to me right now. I have to have a very good brain.

S: Look at the bats flying up there!
J: Wow, those are BATS? They're so much smaller than I thought. Maybe if we're very still and quiet, they'll come up to us. Try to look very gentle.

Baba Janusz (while repairing Julian's shoes): Did you know my grandfather was a shoemaker?

Julian: I took it all off in one gulp: My pants, underwear, and socks!


Rusty Legos

Tomorrow is Slide Day on Pluto. I can't go to Pluto very much anymore because I have to go to school. I have to go to Pluto for more than two days in a row. Because it takes one night to get back from earth.

Janusz: Julian, please up and get dressed.
Julian (wrapped up in his bedding): I'm making wings. I'm in my chrysalis!

Come play with me. You are MEANT for Legos, Mama.

Mama: Julian, come eat your eggs.
Julian: OK, my honey, OK, my sweetie, OK, my ragtime gal!

You have eyebrows that are GLEAMING. They're gleaming in the wind.

Mama: Julian, what are you doing with that packing tape?
Julian: I'm observing it.

I'm making you a special spy watch, Mama. It has a "radio wave" so we can talk to each other from school. Yours is easy to activate. It's powered by the heart. The blood rushes down and it turns a wheel and that's how it makes electricity. To take it off you unhook this part and untwist it and it becomes a pipe cleaner.

Could I go to bed a little earlier tomorrow so that I can stay up a little later tonight? I want to look at some constellations.

Suzuki: Do you like the tune I wrote?
Julian: Yes, it's great!
Suzuki: What should we call it?
Julian: "The Tune of the Rusty Legos"

Suzuki: What are you doing?
Julian: I'm rearranging the house. And when Baba comes home, let's say that we think he's in the wrong house. We'll disguise our voices.

[ESL bonus from Janusz/Baba: "Now you know what I was jiggling about."]

[Bonus description of Julian from Scoop in Eugene, Oregon: "He's an engineer with the soul of a poet."]



3/05: Suzuki called nephew Hayden in Maine to tell him that she is going to have a baby boy. Hayden’s response: “Oh.”

5/05: Grandma and Grandpa come to visit Suzuki’s abdomen and learn that the unborn child has a working title: Bebeto.

8/05: The birth takes place at the peak of a full moon, at home in a birthing tub in the dining room. In attendance was famous midwife Pamela Hunt. Soon, he is wrapped up tightly, much like a burrito.

9/05: Grandpa describes the baby as “a gastrointestinal tract with a warning device at each end.”

The young man has multiple names his parents call him at various times:
  • Bebeto
  • Julian
  • Juju
  • Misiu (sweetheart or, literally, teddy bear in Polish) or mały misiu (little teddy bear).

7/06: Today, when Suzuki picked Julian up from Nidia's daycare, her ten-year-old daughter stated that “If there was an award for the happiest baby, Julian would win it.”

9/06: Suzuki: "The first time a mom hears her child say 'I love you' is such a wonderful moment in life! Today was that day for me."

11/06: First chili relleno. (In Sebastopol. At El Tarasco.) Later, at home, he had his first bite of pierogi (prepared by Janusz).

First visit to a church. St. John's Presbyterian in Berkeley. Suzuki took him there because there was a musical group from Tanzania there that she wanted to hear. But while there, Julian was asked to play the baby Jesus in their upcoming holiday play on December 17. He accepted. His first acting job!

12/06: The living nativity scene in St. John’s went well. Especially since Suzuki plopped Julian into the manger along with his teddy bear and a bottle—and then stood alongside playing the role of an angel (complete with wings). Funny thing: At one point, Julian took the bottle out of his month and put it in the teddy bear’s mouth. (Grandpa, however, finds Julian a bit old to play the baby Jesus. He was more of a toddler Jesus.)

1/07: First haircut. Mom did it by chasing Julian around from room to room upstairs, snipping a bit here and a bit there. When she was done, Mom had to vacuum the entire upstairs.

First taco. Mom made a stop at the taco truck between daycare and home. Gave a bite of her taco to Julian who immediately yelled, “¡Mas!” and then, after another bite, another “¡MAS!” A bit later, he uttered a tiny yelp when the spices kicked in.

3/07: Janusz took Julian on his first stroller hike. On Poopy Trail in Crane Creek Park. (Actually, it was Poppy Trail, but somebody had converted the first “p” into an “o.”

4/07: Julian said “please” for the first time. Actually, he said “peez.”

5/07: He says "bye-bye" and waves to everything, literally. Lamp posts, dirt, rocks,  sticks, hoses, shoes (he's kind of obsessed with shoes), oh yeah—-and  people, too.

Julian’s first night at his new house at in Fairfax. Another first: No crib.

Juju learned to hop today. He says “Hop! Hop! Hop!” and goes around in circles.

7/07 First said “rangutang” (orangutan) when he happened to see a picture of one, months after the last time he heard Suzuki say it.

8/07: Juju was making a scream-like noise, just for fun. Suzuki asked him, ‘How does it make you feel when you make that sound?’ He answered, ‘Loud. Vacuum. Big.’”

10/07: First true camping trip. With Janusz. Two nights in a tent, plus hikes, getting cold, etc. Also first visit to Yosemite. Enthralled by cooking on the camp stove.

10/07: Talked to his grandfather while the latter was attending a World Series game. Julian said, “Good luck game.”

Suzuki and Julian went on a half-mile hike, he held her finger so tightly that it became numb.

Julian’s got a new routine. He proclaims that his pants are too heavy to put on by himself and he needs help. It even came to this: When handed his socks to put on, he said, “Too heavy. Mama do it.”

1/08: Suzuki: Hey Juju, come upstairs. Julian: No, I want to hang out.

While watching Suzuki apply makeup this morning, “You’re drawing your face?” (“Yes.”) “You have markers on your face?” (“Yes, I suppose I do.”) (pause) “I want some.”

2/08: “Don’t talk with your mouth full, Mama.”

(In bed): “I honk the horn. Baba, you drive. You paddle, Mama.”

3/08: Julian has become obsessed with The Magic Flute. He listens to it once or twice a day. “That’s my music!” he says. We are trying to keep it down to one time a day.

Julian’s current obsessions (besides The Magic Flute): Sprinklers and Drip Systems (a publication) in which he can identify items such as “shut-off valve” and “timer.”

The living room is where Julian has been listening to exerpts from The Magic Flute. Downstairs, in his dad’s office, when a complete version of the opera was played, Julian proclaimed—upon hearing the overture which isn’t one of the exerpts he’s been listening to—“This is not a Magic Flute!” Throughout the opera, every time a piece of music was played that is not among the excerpts Julian repeats that announcement: “This is not a Magic Flute!”

4/08: He grabbed his parents' hands at the dinner table, turned to Suzuki and said, “Thank you for the LOV-E-LY apple sauce!”

5/08: While turning on the static-only radio to hear it hiss: “I have to let some air out.”

One example of a new trend: Suzuki: “Time to put on your jammies.” Him: “No thank you!” with a big, sweet smile.

At bedtime, he said, “I have to go get my ideas” and then fetched a book at random, brought it back to “read” to Suzuki.

Julian noticed Suzuki's shimmery silver dangle earrings. Suzuki: Do you like them? Julian: Yes. I’m going to wear them when I’m you.

Lately, he’s been wanting Suzuki to lay down with him as he gets ready to fall asleep. With his arm around her: “I will keep you safe, Mama (pause...) so you won’t go.”

6/08: "I’m big. I don’t need parents. I don’t need grownups. I’m big enough!"

While Grandpa was reading to him, Julian was examining Grandpa’s face very carefully. He took special interest in all the hair in Grandpa’s nose. Grandpa explained that when one gets very old, hair grows in all sorts of places. Julian, still concerned with the nose situation, had a question for Grandpa: “How do your boogers come out?”

7/08: (In the garden): "I’m going to move the tree to a better place. So it won’t get lost."

(In his room): I’m drilling a big hole so I can plant a tree in it.

7/08 (Before leaving to go blackberry picking) Julian: I want to go peanut butter picking. S: I don’t think there are any peanut trees around here. J: I want to make a peanut butter tree. The peanut butter can grow up.

(In bed) “Are the trees sleeping now? Do they die? Why do the trees die? When they die, the new ones grow? Why does everybody die?”

8/08: First sleepover away from home without parents. At Chance’s house. He and Chance slept together on the blow-up bed and everyone had light savers. There were no problems.

"Kisses are not available. Only hugs."

(On the intercom to Janusz’s downstairs office): "Baba, are you in your office playing work?"

(Before bed): "Mama, what if you fell down a big big hole and died? Don’t fall down a very deep hole and die."

"It’s not too late to ride my bike. The sky is still on."

In the book "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein, when the boy cuts down the tree to build a boat and sail away: "I don't like that one. It's sad. Maybe we could cut out that part." The next time Mom read it and we got to that page he said, "No, don't do that one!"

"You need to feed me because I'm not available to have hands any more."

While taking the toilet paper off the holder: "I need to download it."

"I need to push the buttons (on the calculator) so I can see what time it is."

Julian (in the car): No CARS! (Triumphantly, on the second word) No TREES! No STREETS! No STEERING WHEELS! No BLACKBERRIES! No STRAWBERRIES! No FOOD! No HOUSES! No TRAFFIC LIGHTS! No WINDOWS! No WHITE LINES! (on and on...then) No EVERYTHING!!! 
Suzuki (getting in on the act): "No CARWASH! No CHURCH! No SKY!" Julian: "No, don't say no sky! SKY! CLOUDS! Balloons are invited! Some TREES! PLANTS! FOOD! PARKING LOTS! Suzuki: Is that because you can rollerskate in parking lots? Julian: YES. The Golden Gate Park is invited to my party.

9/08: "I remember when I used to be your mama."

"'Capasop' is when you break something. 'Yudon is when you poke a window with your finger.'"

(In Poland, Aunt Danuta brought Julian a puzzle.) Danuta: Juju, can you help me with this puzzle? Julian: Why? Danuta: It's difficult. Julian: We have at home puzzles that are not so tricky. We can bring them for you next time.

Juju: Do you like chocolate, Mama? S: Yes. J: What kind? S: Dark. J: I like daylight chocolate.

Jules (while gently knocking on Mama’s head): Knock, knock. S: Who’s there? J: Your BONES!

10/08: First e-mail. To Grandpa. Here it is, in its entirety:
On Oct 31, 2008, at 6:10 PM: “333WWWWGGFRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO0000000000S666666666662222222222211111111BBBBASDASDFGUPPPPP”

11/08: Julian: I’m going to be a spider for Christmas(?!). What are you going to be? S: What do you think I ought to be? J: A giraffe. S: And what about Baba? J: Baba will be a tool. He will be a chainsaw.

12/08: Suzuki: Julian, you need to clean your room, it looks like a tornado happened in there. J: There’s a tomato in my room. It went up the stairs and into my room.

S: Don’t be so loud. Baba is still trying to sleep. J: But I turned my voice up louder. S: You turned the volume up too loud. You have to turn it down. J: But the volume turner got stuck.

Suzuki and Julian get in Janusz’s car to go to the doctor. Suzuki starts up the car and Janusz’s stereo goes on; beautiful classical music is playing. Julian: You know, this is Mozart. Suzuki: Oh, really? J: Yes. S: OK. (Then, a radio announcer came on: We just heard the Mozart Trio for Clarinet, Viola, and Piano. Later, Suzuki asked Janusz whether he’d ever played that for Julian. Nope! He apparently just knows Mozart when he hears him.)

Julian: I love you. And I love me.

When Suzuki got home from work) "I will share my toys with you. I was thinking about you. I’ve been thinking about you."

Julian: When will we die? Suzuki: No one knows when we will die. J: What are we made of?

"I love all the people."

1/09: Julian: I’m watching a (pretend) movie. Do you want to watch a movie? Suzuki: What’s the movie about? J: It’s about the whole world. It’s a little scary. S: Maybe it’s too scary for me. J: No, it’s just a LITTLE scary. It has bunnies.

Julian (wielding camera): I want to take a picture of your lungs. Open up your mouth. And, I will make a movie.

When I close my eyes, I see cinnamon dancing on trees.

Suzuki: We haven’t seen the deer in a while. I wonder where they’ve been going. Julian: Maybe they’re having a play date or a sleepover.

2/09: I want someone to sit next to me all the time.

Julian (at a thrift store): I want to buy something in a box. In a big box. Suzuki: You mean that box with the plastic toys inside? J: Yes. S: No, because that toy didn’t look very interesting, and we don’t want to buy plastic stuff. It’s bad for the earth and you love the earth, right? J: I don’t love the earth anymore.

[As of today, Julian officially can spell his last name. All thirteen letters worth.]

3/09: "We were doing road construction at school. Me, Jacob and Henry. And we were saying 'ROAD CONSTRUCTION UP AHEAD!'"

Suzuki: Do you want anchovy paste in your salad? Julian: No, I only like it on a hot day.

Suzuki (after Julian trailed off mid-sentence): Finish your thought. Julian: What’s a thought? S: It’s an idea in your head. J: I have lots of thoughts. They’re all from Poland. They’re only for Baba. S: What do you mean? J: They’re a surprise for you both. They’re a secret surprise.

Suzuki: Do you want some Inca berries? Julian: No, I only eat them on Sunday.

Julian (shelling peas): I’m going to put them all in my mouth—like Grandpa. Grandpa stuffed a lot of peas in his mouth at the same time.

Julian's latest joke: "Excuse me, could you find my balance?"

Julian: What’s that? Suzuki: Mail from the Children’s Chorale in Colorado. It was a singing group I used to be in. We traveled all over the world singing and sometimes dancing. Maybe someday you’ll want to do something like that. J: No, I want to be a doctor and a road constructioner ONLY. And a cooker. (pause) Because I practiced all those things.

Suzuki: We need to take the snowflake off the window. Julian: NO! Why? S: Because it’s not winter any more. It’s a seasonal thing. J: No, I NEED to have it there! S: For how long? J: Until we die. S: Until we die? J: Until just before we die.

Julian (with the dream catcher he made): When I have a bad dream, I break it in two. When I have good dreams, they go in here and I will remember them. They won’t get deleted.

Suzuki: We’ve got to get ourselves moving this morning. Julian: I’ve got to get the wagon out and connect it to the foxes. They’ll pull us out the door. The foxes don’t need shoes because animals don’t need them.

Julian: There’s a very big flashlight that turns on here when it’s daytime and turns off in Poland. And then it turns off when it’s nighttime here, and it turns on in Poland. I figured out that’s how the sun works.

4/09: (listening to The Gas Men doing Wild Mountain Rose/Star of Muenster): "Can you make it one more pound of loud?"

5/09: These gardening gloves are like baseball mitts. I will catch the moon in them and then I'll throw it back into the sky!

(listening to the Gasmen CD): Cormac stopped playing. This is the part where Cormac stops playing the bodran.

Julian: Watermelon time is when the world needs no people. Suzuki: What does that mean? J: It's just an advertisement.

I need to use some "hop-scotch tape."

(Pointing to his right forearm): See, I have a scratch, a burn, and a bite! They are all friends.

(Pointing to a convertible car): Wow, you'd have a hard time driving that car and holding onto a balloon!

When I'm done coloring this, I want to hang it up. Let's put pictures all over the entire house, so we don't see any walls--except the mirrors--because it's kind of boring how we have it now.

6/09: (Crawling into our bed in the middle of the night): I got too much sand in my eyes from the moon.

Excuse me. (Yes?) I need some attention.

Why do deer have horns? (To protect themselves and vie for females.) Yeah. They fight them for her babies. Then they blow their horns.

(During his shower) Suzuki: I need a foot, please. (Scrub.) Now I need another foot. Juju: There are no more feet for sale. S: But I see another foot. J: It's only for decoration. S: Could I rent or borrow one, please? J: Yeah.

You can only sneeze if you live by yourself.

Suzuki: What do you want in your sandwich? Juju: Sticks and soil.

Julian: Let's talk. (What about?) The whole world. (What kind of things about the whole world?) All the kinds of things.

I need to make the music stand higher. (Why?) For the dinosaurs. I'm going to peel off their skin.

7/09: I want you to show me how to swim and play fiddle at the same time.

Julian’s friend Jacob (looking at our Polish sculpture of Adam, Eve, Cain, and Abel): Is that Juju’s dad with the beard? Suzuki: No, they’re characters from the Bible. Jacob: What’s the bible? Suzuki: A book of stories that some religions are based upon. Jacob: Does Julian have that movie?

I have a dog and a cat and a giraffe. My giraffe lives in a pancake.

I love you as loud as I can scream.

Suzuki: Come down and have your eggs, Julian! Julian: I can't--I'm putting on lipstick! I have four kinds of lipstick! And I made a new hairstyle.

Julian (writing a letter to Grandma and Grandpa): Send it from the police office. Suzuki: Why? Julian: Actually, send it from the post office. I'm kind of confused.

8/09: Janusz to Suzuki: Today, Juju told me that he would love me forever. Julian: I will love him forever SO MUCH. I will love him as big as my bike is. My bike is VERY big.

(A few days after Lark Music Camp): I want to buy a taiko drum. I want to buy the very big one. We can put it in our back yard. You guys will have to help me set it up and make it very low so I can reach it.

I love you, Mama. It’s your love birthday.

(While eating an avocado and grinning widely): We can go salsa dancing in avocados.

I love you as fast as I can ride my bike. I can ride SO fast.

Sometime I want to move closer to the camp (Lark) so it won’t take as long to get there.

Suzuki (in concerned tones): Juju, how are you feeling about to two of us being separated for two and a half weeks while you’re in Poland? Julian: It’s kind of good because we’ve been together too much and I don’t really like it. In two more days, I’m going to have enough of you and then, when I get back, I’m going to REALLY want to be with you.

9/09: Julian [on our way to his friend Stewart’s house]: How was the world made? Janusz: Well, no one knows for sure—it’s a bit of a mystery. Julian: Could you tell me the parts that you know? Janusz: Well, there was a big bang. Juju: Where? Janusz: Where the world is now. And then from a tiny point, the world rapidly expanded. Juju: What’s “expanded?” Janusz: Got bigger. Juju: You mean it grew like people? Suzuki: More like it blew up like a balloon. Janusz: Well, the life forms grew sort of like people. Juju: Where were the people? Janusz: There weren’t any people. Juju: Actually, I was there. I was the only one. Janusz: Oh, really? Juju: Yes. I built the world. It didn’t really expand. I built it. Janusz: What was the first thing you made? Juju: Uh, I built Stewart’s house. That was really good for Stewart. Don’t tell Stewart. That I built his house or that I was the only one. Those are the two things we WON’T tell him…We’ll let him guess.

Mama, can I have some tape? (What for?) I need to tape our hearts together.

Julian (in bed): Tomorrow I'm going to tell you something. A song that Silver (his teacher from school) made up. Actually I'm going to ask Baba to record it and it will be a secret and I will give it to you for Christmas. We will put it in a box. You will open up a big box and then a smaller box and another smaller box and inside that will be a CD case and you will open up the CD case and inside that will be the CD!

(First words of the morning in our tent): Mama, I got to give you a hug. I got too many hugs and I can't fit them into my Self. I got to give you guys a lot of hugs!

I have to go get something--it's a secret. It's a rainbow on the moon. Let's get it (reaches arm and grabs the air). I got some rainbows (clenched fists). Could you please open the invisible box? ("Sure." I open, he puts them inside.) Now close it. If we don't put them in the box, they float away.

Suzuki: First things first. Juju: No, next things first, then first things. That's the way to go.

When I grow up, I'm going to be a cook and an airplane driver and a train driver and a police driver and a fire truck driver and a guitar player and a piano player and a math teacher and a builder that builds refrigerators and freezers and storages and houses and toys.

My speed car can always park in there (Suzuki's favorite parking spot at Julian's school). It can fly over the cars and red lights. It doesn't have a honker because it can fly over the cars, so it doesn't need a honker. I don't have a rule for how fast my car can go. I can just go free without any speed limit on that car. I'm the only one who can have one of those cars because all of the other ones someone pushed down in the store and they broke.

Sometime I will tape our hearts so none of the good feelings will go away. But the hole where the bad feelings can go out, I WON'T cover. The bad feelings just go through the hole and you won't see them ever again.

Julian: What color eyes do you have? Suzuki: Take a look. Julian: Umm, they're green and blue and black and white and red.

10/09: Suzuki: Let's buy this cinnamon raisin bread. Julian: It will only be for the citizens in our family.

Julian: Look what I have. Suzuki: Is that a filter? J: Yes. It filts.

Don't leave until I'm ALL the way asleep. I'll tell you when I'm all the way asleep.

I know about the whole world because I live underground. I have two tow trucks that I keep in my garage. I live under a geyser: Old Faithful.

Suzuki (while Julian repeatedly bonked his head against her legs: Do you need some attention? Julian: Yes. I couldn't tell you because my voice doesn't work and my mouth is locked. That's why.

Suzuki: Julian, I want you to come eat the rest of your sandwich. Julian: No, I need to look up (at the tripod) and make sure the planets are not falling.

We are sea turtles. I am the sea turtle that can turn into a fire-breathing dragon. I can scare away the fish that would eat us. I use my fiery breath to cook them up for us to eat.

I cancel your bad dreams out of you, but only your scary ones and your hurting ones and your violence ones.

There--I put all my bad dreams in you. We'll have to push your belly button to delete them.

11/09: Mama, can you make sure I don't wear this shirt to school ever again or when Jake comes over. (Why not?) Jake says it's not cool.

Cod liver oil is my favorite liquid.

Do you know I have a valve in my body? It turns on my poo poo and turns off my pee pee and turns on my pee pee and turns off my poo poo. That's how it works.

Do you have an iPhone? (No. Do you know what an iPhone is?) Yes. It's a phone that you call with your eye.

Julian (while listening to a recording of a house concert of legendary piper Paddy Keenan I had attended): Were you clapping too at Cormac's house concert? Suzuki: Yes. Julian: Which clap was yours?

Close your eyes. (Why?) Because I'm going to do something and then you're going to say, "Hey, who did that?" and I'm going to say, "Not me."

Me and my friends built the Golden Gate Bridge a long time ago. (What did you use?) A lot of things, but not bricks. We used wood and we sanded the wood and we used screws and nails and lots of tools and we dug out the ocean and the lake across from it (the Bay).

Spiderman is in Star Wars.

Dark Vadar is a boy and Light Vadar is a girl.

Suzuki: I love you and hope you feel better ASAP and that means as soon as possible. Juju: Awwww, you’re loving me so much! I love you too. If I snuggle with you that means I love you…I’m snuggling with you. I will make you a rainbow.

I will be able to iron when I am older. I will stay here and iron for you guys when you are old.

Julian (after hearing the story of Jesus’s birth): I was there. Remember how I said I made the whole world? So, I was already there. I didn’t even need a star. I knowed where it was.

I need a piece of pumpkin pie or else I will be hungry forever.

1/10: Julian (borrowing my ring): This is the ring of beauty. Beauty is so good for you! We share the beauty—here, you can have some beauty. You get half the beauty and I get half the beauty.

Once I ate a wood chip, for real life. (What did you think?) Not good. Not edible. But I chewed it up and swallowed it, for real life.

I have to get my dowries (two roasting racks). Those are my special dowries.

I’m the king of cooking. I can make onions turn into the kind that don’t make you cry.

Obama used to be Jesus. (Did you say Baba used to be Jesus?) No. Obama, our president. (Obama used to be Jesus?) Yes. (Where did you get that idea?) It’s just a joke that I made up.

I think in the olden days, they used to kill loofas and use them as wheels.

What is outside the universe?

Julian (watching Suzuki replace the smoke detector she had taken down to make it stop beeping): Are we done burning things for the day, Mama?

2/10: Baba walks around while he brushes him teeth. Because he's very funny. And he's so talented.

I want to be a robot dragon next Christmas.

You should have named me "Cuckoo Head" when I was born. Or "Robot." I want to change my name to Robot. I want everybody to think I'm a robot because my name is Robot. Wouldn't that be funny?

I'm going to catch a frog and I'm going to feed him every day and I'm going to build a very large pond for him to swim all around in.

For Christmas, I want to have hemp cereal with chocolate milk.

I want you to make a special machine that when you're gone you turn it on, and in the morning, it will give me cod liver oil.

4/10: (swoop!) I caught you in my parents-catching net! I give you a big hug, then I let you go.

I'm a power peace ninja. Ninjas do exercise, they don't hurt anybody. Peace power ninjas are bigger than ice cream trucks.

When I wake up in the morning, I can't really control my voice. I can't talk very well. But when I walk through my door, there's a force field I walk through and then I can talk.

Let me see your necklace. It has powers. That's a power necklace. When I touch it, I get lots of power. I got a lot of power from that necklace.

I'm king of the skylights! (Carrying a stick) This is my staff of plenty!

(While hiking) I'm a robot. Robots can't see, they have to feel their way.

I'm a scruggle-foot mulligatawny!

5/10: I want to live in a shoe, Mama.

Is gravity the strongest thing in the world? (I guess so.) Except clouds, right? They're stronger because they stay up in the sky.

I'm going to jump up and hang from the sky. And I'm going to jump off Pluto. They don't even have that in circus school.

I should teach other people my language. When I grow up, I'll teach it. I hope I will remember it.

One of my jobs is to pinch myself.

If you scream too loud at my school, the sprinklers will go on.


I'm a robot and I have a little pouch right here at my waist where I can put my kangaroo.

I'm making a high-maintenance bridge. I have emergency nose wipes, emergency whistles, gloves, and spyglasses. And an emergency telephone. (Why?) Because if people walking across drop stuff. There are no sides on the bridge.

A spider is spinning his web around a bad spaceship. He's a good black widow.

Something was biting my foot. It was half mosquito, half lion.

This is the first time I peeled the whole ginger by myself. I'm learning kitchen stuff. I'm going to tell everyone at my school. I'm really a peeler of ginger with this (peeler). It will be so easy for me. I'm going to be able to help you so much times. I'm working hard on this because I'm learning. Some parts, I'm learning so quickly. (Singing): Get all the bumps out! I got all the skin out!

(After I had put him to bed): Mama, can you please come back up here? ([Upstairs, whilst snuggling] OK, what's up, Honey?) It's my last chance to be with you on this day.

7/10: My language is nonsense to the people on the world. But on my planet, it’s real. It’s real stuff, OK? But it’s nonsense to the world people, like you. I built the world and all the planets. WAY before the dinosaurs. I was born in space. I built all the planets, even the world and Pluto. I live on Pluto. And on a lot of other planets, even the one that got hit. (Jupiter?) Yes. Luckily, I wasn’t there and I took my house on top of my car. I made my house the kind that pops onto wheels and you can wheel it onto your car. Then you can pop it down on the planet. You should come with me sometime. I’ll show you. But you shouldn’t take your jet pack because it will make you shoot past ALL the planets…(etc.).

I wish I was a lighthouse keeper. Do they still have those?

Who are the people who decide what people can do and can’t do? (Lawmakers?) Yes. How do you get to be one? (You run for a position in government, etc…Do you want to be one?) Yes. How many things can you be? (Depends on how much time you need for each thing. You can do multiple things if you have enough time. Or, you can do one thing for a while and then switch to another.) Are you going to do your job forever, Mama? (I don’t know.) Do old people have jobs?

Do you know all the words in the world? (No, no one does.) No, I do. I learned them while I was in your belly. Someone taught me all the words.(Who?) The man from Pluto. He had a special spaceship and it poked in you and it didn’t even hurt.

Don’t ever go camping without me. I want you to bring me with you everywhere you go.

How many hours until dinner is ready? How many days until dinner is ready? How many months until dinner is ready? How many ancestors until dinner is ready?

(monotone voice) I am Robot Kenobe. And I can take off my hand.

I built all the planets, but actually Pluto growed, and I was born on Pluto. Pluto still thinks I’m his son, but I’m not.

We should take band-aids everywhere we go, in case one of us gets hurt. If I get hurt, you will put one on me, and if you get hurt, I will put one on you.

My shirt is five-dimensional. Six dimensional is when there’s sound too.

The more sugary it is, the more yummier it is for kids. That’s what we know.

Julian (Looking at an old dump site in the Colorado Rocky Mountains): That’s so sad. We should clean this up! Suzuki: But, where are we going to put it--it’s still going to end up on the earth. Julian: I’m going to make a machine that will recycle everything to clean up the earth. Suzuki: But what about when your machine breaks down--where will that end up? Julian: It will be compostable. All my machines will be compostable. My machines will last for my whole life. Suzuki: What about your kids and their kids lives? Julian: I will teach my kids and they will teach their kids and they will teach THEIR kids how to operate the machine.

I know what a “goon” is. (What is a goon?) It has four arms and four hands, a butt for one eye and a mouth for a nose and a nose for a mouth.

8/10: Mama, you are a dandelion seed. And Baba and I are Japanese Maples. You get to fly over the ocean. (I do?) Yes. We will make the wind to blow you across.

Julian (in the draining bathtub, with his hand on the drain): It’s sucking me down. Suzuki (addressing the drain): No, you can’t have my son! Julian: But I want to go down to the pipe world! Suzuki: But I want you here in this world! Julian: But I will come back. (Later, while Suzuki pulled his shirt over his head): Oh no, I’m going to the pipe world and I’m not even packed! (Later): I’m the leader of the pipe world.

Julian (in bed): I push a special button and cords come down and attach to my bed and then pull it up, so I can sleep up in the air.

I’m going to bring my froggy to Poland, because I love him SO much. I’m going to bring him mostly everywhere I go.

Suzuki: I’ll put your birthday money from Grandma and Grandpa into my bank account, since you don’t have enough money to open your own bank account yet. Julian: Yes, because I save my ice cream money (loose change) for ice cream, not for getting a bank account!

9/10: Here, I'm delivering the hugs. I give you all my love with hugs. I give all my love to Baba by speaking Polish sometimes.

Me and Djadek (Polish grandpa) could understand each other without talking to each other.

This corn on the cob is like real candy! Next year at Easter, can we put some corn in the eggs?

(In a tent during the Celtic Festival in Sebastopol): Suzuki: Goodnight. Juju: Goodnight.
(Suzuki walks away from the tent, until she hears): Wait Mama! Suzuki: Yes, Juju? Julian: I love you SO much! Suzuki: Likewise, Honey! Julian: Unzip the tent a little so the love can get through. (This gets done.) Julian: OK, you got it now.

Did you know that the stars are not really stars? They are really huge clumps of LOVE. If you look at a star, the love comes down to you.

Suzuki: Babcza and Dzadek have only one grandson. You! And Grandma and Grandpa have three grandkids: You, Hayden and Megan. Julian: They are a little luckier. Suzuki: Janusz and I will only have as many grandkids as you have kids. Julian: OH! (pause)
I will marry you again and we'll have kids! Suzuki: Hmm. Then my kids will also be my grandkids! That would be kind of weird. Julian: Yeah. That would be REALLY weird! (laughs)

(On his way out the door to go to school): Mama, I'm going to keep saying goodbye and I love you the whole day. You will feel it the whole day. Make sure you feel it in your brain. Make sure you feel it for the whole time I don't see you.

(To Janusz) There's love bouncing between you and me and Mama. And there's another love bouncing between just you and Mama.

10/10: Mama, you are the most helpful person I have ever met. (pause) Well, I didn't really "meet" you, right?

[After finding a dog tag that says "My Name is Thor"]: My name isn't really Thor. It's only my name when I go to the underworld. When I dig down to the underworld. Thor is the name of the underworld. That's why they call me that. Because I am the ruler of the underworld.

I wrote a song. It's called Jiggity Reel. The way you play it is you take a truck and you throw it into the ocean. The crashing waves and the splashing car are the music.

Play some tunes, Mama. I'm dying to hear some Irish music.

Dust for sale! Who wants some dust? Dust for sale!

Who wants to sell dust with me?

[On the steps in front of our house] Do you know what I do when someone goes by that I don't know who they are? I freeze. (S: So that you're hidden?) No, so that they'll think I'm a sculpture.

[With a garland encircling his face, like he was a flower]: Roar.( S: Um, are you a scary flower?) I'm just telling the bees I have no more honey...I'm just telling the bees I have no more pollen...What's pollen?

Suzuki: I'll put these worry dolls by your bed, so you can tell them any worries you might have before going to sleep. Julian: I can also tell them things to mix in with the worries that are not worries. I can do that.

Mama, you be my fish and I'll be a fisher and I'll catch you, because you're going to be my pet. And you couldn't find any food, so I put a glass jar on the end and you swam into it and I brought it up and gave you a bunch of food.

Suzuki: The sky looks pretty right now. Julian: Like garlic. It's dawn.

11/10: I'm talking with an alligator accent.

I want to make some "laughing bread." (What's laughing bread?) Tortillas.

Love isn't real. You just think it is. It's not real.

[Inspired from a recent trip to Yosemite, Julian decided to make crayon-colored, cut-out "mountains" for all of his teachers and one of his friends at school.] I'm going to give them out like tokens!

(Whispering to me): We need to make plans. (S: What plans?) We'll discuss it upstairs. (S: Um, OK.) [Later, upstairs]: (S: So, what plans are we going to discuss?) Well...why don't we disguise the upstairs of the house, then we can hide from Baba? (S: But how can we disguise the house without making a big mess? I've really been trying to get things organized.) We're going to have it organized. [Then he took a couple of bandanas out and draped them on a couple of furnishings.] OK, there! Let's get in our hiding places. [He got into the closet.] Baba! Come up here!

The street is full of hot lava. We're hot lava monsters and we can slurp the hot lava like a drink.

[Placing two small chairs into various formations]: I'm making a topsy-turvy exerciser. Do you want me to make a seat for you on the topsy-turvy exerciser? (Yes.) Now it's a topsy-turvy boat. We can sail across the ocean. Can we have a dance party and put the boat to the shore?

Real sailors drink a glass of water before they brush their teeth. And captains slurp the saltwater from the ocean!

Mama, can you tell Baba to keep my door open tonight because it's a sailors' secret that if the door's open, I will sail faster tomorrow morning.

What's the name of that Gas Man who plays the flute? (Vinny.) Yeah. He plays like a bird sings.

Soon, you will deserve rest. (Suzuki: I already deserve rest.) Soon, you will deserve breasts. (S: I already have breasts.) You will deserve more breasts! (How many?) 100!

Julian: You are my nemesis. Suzuki: Do you know what it means? Julian: I can't remember.

[This evening Julian sat next to the oven and read a book to the roasting chicken.] The chicken wants me to read him a story.

It's Paddy Fahey's Multiplying Circus!

I played soccer with Rowan today at school. (Pretend or with a ball?) With a molecule.

Guess what I'm building? A wombat truck.

12/10: Mama, I love you so much, I can't really tell you.

King of the Fungus, King of the Fungus, I'm the King of Fungus, Baby, I'm the King of Fungus, Baby! [To the tune of Manu Chao's "Bongo Bong" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvQ5o50CPxU]

Mama, do you believe in Fairies? I do. My friend Luke and I both believe in Fairies and pretend we are Fairies. (What are fairies and where do they live?) They have wings and some of them are invisible. They live everywhere. Like fire fairies, water fairies, dirt fairies, tooth fairies, hot lava fairies, flood fairies. We like the good fairies. Not all of them are good.

Hey Indigo, let's play pretend soccer without a ball! (Indigo: You can't play soccer without a ball.) Yes you can. You stand there in the middle and I'll kick. [Kick] Almost! That's almost.

I'm the king of the spank-your-butt club, but it doesn't spank butts anymore. It's a special fairy that puts lights on the Christmas tree and gives you wishes.

I'm so hungry, I'd have to eat the whole world to get myself full.

I gave you an extra fart because I had one more than you and you had one less than me.

(Handing me a heart token): Take this heart with you to work today, Mama, and whenever you want some love from me, just squeeze it.

(Wielding a ladle): This is my magic wand and I use it to stop wars. Ok, I stopped all the wars! Now I will use it to make people healthy.

Angels and Fairies are in the same family.

Julian (In the middle of reading 'Twas The Night Before Christmas): Is Santa Claus real? Suzuki: Um, do you want to believe in him? J: No, I want to know if he's real. S: Are you sure you want to know? J: Yes. S: No. J:Then, how do the presents get there? S: There's some parent involvement. J: How? They hide things to make it a surprise. J: I want to help do that! I want to help do that for the other people. [Later, Janusz told Juju the story of the real St. Nicholas.]

Boing-y hog! [This is one of his favorite non sequiturs.]

[Carrying an invisible "big box"] This is a present for you and you can open it today because today is Christmas for the underworld and this is from the underworld!

2/11: Grandpa, your eyebrows are very long. They keep dust out of your eyes very good.

[Julian shoveled snow by himself from Grandma and Grandpa's house to a few doors down, in 12 degree weather.] "My blood was almost frozen."

I'm Captain Bottle and you're Hop Slip Boop Slick and I'll teach you how to drive the ship. Baby Love (teddy bear) is the lookout.

(Regarding Mama's pico de gallo):  "It's way better than the ones I have tasted in the recent days."

Mama, I have a secret to tell you that no other sailors know. (What is it?) I'll tell you when we're out on the seas.

Mama, I made sweat lodges that can fly and walk and they're friends.

Julian (running down the outside stairs to greet Suzuki after work):
Mama!!! Suzuki: Hi Misiu. How was your day? Juju: It was great! Every part of my day was great. (Later, while he hugged her leg, she asked him, "What was so great about today?" He replied, "You! This is the greatest part of my day.")

(Running around) I've got to catch up with the ketchup!

It's your fiddle's birthday. I've got to hug him and give him his present. Suzuki: What's his present? Julian: You. You are his present.

I want to bring a sunflower down to the underworld or to one of the planets I live on, either one. In the underworld, sunflowers are TREES.

How do you write my name with you know, those bumps? Suzuki: Braille? Julian: No, how people usually write. Suzuki: You mean cursive handwriting? Julian: Yes.

Mama, do you want to pretend that it's your birthday and I'm your best friend and I baked you a cake and you'll say "that's my favorite cake" and I'll say "I know?" Oh, your cake is ready!  Mama, what if right before I cut it, a dragon popped out of it? Well, I'll make you a new one. What shape of pieces do you want your cake to be cut in?"

Mama, Baba (Janusz) is good at cooking things that are simple and you are good at things that are more complicated.

Oh wow, there's something funny about the way your ear is shaped. Julian: I like it. I like that I'm different so people can know that I'm here. That I'm I.

Never go to a place where it's very quiet--where there's no sound. Because there's a spider that's SO poisonous--more poisonous than a black widow!

Thanks Honey, you are a great help to me. Julian: And you are a great help to ME! And you're a great help to yourself since you MADE me!!!

My hearing in that ear is kind of blurry. Your talking so lightly. (Ear infection.)

I have a machine I carry in my pocket that scans my fingers very slowly and tells me when I need to cut my fingernails.

Could you please go out and get me some sage from the garden? Julian: I can't right now, I'm making a contraption.

Suzuki (at dinner):
I'm thankful to my son for making me laugh so many times today. Janusz: "I'm thankful to my son for going on such a great hike with me today. Julian: OK, you guys--close your eyes but don't scrunch them...I'm thankful to you both for saying that.

Finally! I caught up with the ketchup.

Jujuword Translation:
"Poochie tacos," n. underarms

3/11: [At bedtime]: What if the lightning hits the window? What things are not conductive? ... Is there air on the moon? Are humans going to take over space like they've taken over the earth? How could they live on the moon? Are there other planets with air? ... What is the fastest spacecraft? I need to know. ... How much water is there on earth? ... How many places are there? How many interesting places?
How do horses talk with only one word?
Can we play a little space war game? Just a little tiny war? No one will get hurt.

[While using chopsticks]: What was the country that had the earthquake? (Japan.) Do they use chopsticks in Japan? (Yes.) So using them can be like a blessing to them.

4/11: This tortilla is beautiful. It's like art. It's precious art.

One day can the whole family take apart the kitchen table and put it back together again?

How many hours do you live? How many days? How many weeks? What's the highest number possible to live?

You get a 100% hug. It's like cotton, but it just hug.

Thank you for the fabulous dinner, Mama. Baba, are YOU going to thank Mama for the dinner? (Janusz: Thank you for the wonderful dinner, Suzuki.) I think fabulous is more than wonderful. Don't you think it was fabulous?

How is electricity made? How are magnets made so that they have all positives on one side and negatives on the other?

Did you know that if you say "terribly good," it means even more than "great?" It means the best good ever.

Mama, you look good lying in the bed with your hair like that. Your grey hair looks like seaweed.

Which is smaller, atoms or molecules? What's the smallest thing? ... How does mold grow on your teeth?

Are germs alive? What happens to them after you blow your nose? How many babies can germs have at one time?

I've learned so many things from Baba lately! [Baba (Janusz) made charts and taught him the functions of hormones, the structure of atoms and certain molecules, how magnets are made to be polarized, and how electricity if made.]

I'm a love transporter. I have the most love ever. And I throw it out all over the world, not knowing where it goes.

Goodnight, Juju. Julian: Goodnight...Wait, Mama! How does the heart pump blood?

5/11: Hello? Hello? I'm using my sandwich as a space phone.

[flashing a light at me]
I'm giving you an Energy Shot. There's a dollar of pounds in each second of light.

You are the Easter Mama Vegetarian Tiger who protects the eggs from the Easter Wolf.

I know a secret, Mama. At certain times, Pluto jumps over the other planets and is the
closest to the Sun.

Did you know that
earth is another name for dirt?

I'm going to pitch a fork!

Anytime you want some love, just blow a kiss to my baby and he will give you pounds of love. Anytime. Even when you're
not sick.

You can't remember things that happen to you when you're asleep because your memory rips everything apart.

Mama, what are those crinkles on your face?

If I wrote the 21 Balloons, I would have made it a little longer before the explosion so that they would finish the parachute. And I would have the flying thing go over San Francisco and have the professor land in San Francisco.

Mama: "Look, there's a halo around the moon." Julian: "It's not a halo, it's a

[holding a banana like a gun]
What does this look like? (Um, a gun?) But, food comes out of it. It shoots food to poor people.

How tiny are virus balls? How do germs enter your body? ... What is spit for? ... How do people remember things?

[in bed]
Do you want to pretend we're plants? We have to get under the covers because they are the dirt.

[with bubbles on his finger]
My finger is wearing a spacesuit!

How about these crystals are alive and they're friends?

[in the bath]
What warm water is there? (Hmm. What do you mean?) Oh, I'm just randomly saying something.

The birdies will help me find the eggs. They took the eggs that didn't hatch and painted beautiful patterns on them and hid them in the trees. They'll find them and bring them down to me.

How not-splashy can boats be?

I like ladybugs. I even like worms. I don't care if worms poop on me because they just eat dirt and poop it out.

Did you know there are three kinds of steps? The one that means "the next thing," the one you go up, and the step you take with your foot?

What's the opposite of Santa Cruz?

Jujuword Translation:
wooji, n. = dishwasher rack

6/11: I'm ready for more advanced cooking. Like more of the grown-uppy kind. Like the oven-y kind.

Can you imagine a dog walking down the street with a candy cane conference work phone?

[After playing a tune on his asparagus spear]: That was a song about when the father of all compost men died.

OK, my boat's landed. What island is this?

Julian, come brush your teeth! Juju: OK, if you insist. [pause]...What does insist mean?

Super Peacock Feathers will save the day!

This is an armpit vacuum. It blows dirtiness all over everything you're touching. And then you fall down.

There are only a few people who don't have hate. The people who have hate can't have love. I've been working with Mother Nature on the cycles. If you have any hate, I will be operating the machine that will pick you up and let you out in outer space.

How do crayons end their life? ... What is fire made of? ... Did you know that spiders can be as small as a speck of dust or as large as a dinner plate?

After eating a slice of watermelon, you should kiss the rind.

Jujuwords Translated
: Chicawahwah  n. /chi-ka-wah-wah/ 1. "private parts" ; Lukujalah interj./lu-ku-jah-lah/ (inflection matters here!) 1. "If I say if very tender, it means 'Oh, how sad' 2.  but if I say it with a happy voice, it means the opposite. 3. If you say it half way between, it means 'Very nice. Good job!'"

7/11: See Mama, I built a hydro-mocanic organic water factory. It's an organic source of water. It pumps the water from the sink. [Sink begins to overflow now.] Oh my God, that did not work so well.

I can burp you right out of your pants.

Julian (in the bathtub): Can you get me a pen? Suzuki: Why? Julian: I want to draw a little something on my body. I need a permanent pen. Suzuki: What do you want to draw? Julian: A water level. So I'll know when to turn the water off.
Everybody has a plug on the top of their head.

Suzuki: Julian, what do you say when someone gives you something? Julian: Thank you, my majesty.

Mama, you're the cream in my butter. You're the lego in my ship. You are the elbow in my arm.

(Whispering) Mama, tell her (a laughter therapist at Harbin) that the world is a big ball rolling through space on wheels!

I don't get raspberries. Because most berries have color names like black or blue, but raspberries are different.

I don't like mirrors.

See my little (Lego) guy's jet pack? It has a hat box. He has the most unusual hat. It's a lily pad hat. He has this thing plugged into his brain.

If you don't get my jokes, I won't get your jokes.

8/11: Suzuki: Oh no, I forgot about something. Julian: Why did you forget about it? Suzuki: Because I have too many things to remember and not enough time to remember them. Julian: Why don't you just quiet down your rumpus? Then you'll be able to remember things.

Rockets (5 years old)

Contraptions (5 years old)

Fairfax Festival (3 years old)