Noisemakers and flying tanks.

(on trampoline) What if I jumped up to the moon and came down so fast that I didn't get burned by the atmosphere. And I didn't even take a breath? Actually, I just took one breath to have enough courage to make it back!

You know what's useful? When I drop something (eating food at the table), my legs go magically in!

("Boob Man," who has good milk and poisonous milk, plus a giant skateboard, flying tank, etc.)

I'm a caveman with modern tools.

In my class, I'm the one that savors things the most (food).

You know what my favorite thing in the world is? I mean, I like Legos, but my favorite thing is getting attention from Mama!

When are you coming back upstairs? Three moments equals a while, remember that.

I think they should put noisemakers in electric cars...not too loud.

I don't want to eat anymore before Aikido class. Tell Baba that and tell him very firmly.

(Me: What's your favorite fruit?) I think coconut is a genius fruit. You can use the shell as a bowl, you can drink the milk, and eat the flesh.


Oddness, Continued.

Let's have an opera of burps!

Yesterday I looked up a bad word in the dictionary. The F word. (What did it say?) I don't remember. (So we looked it up again. Intransitive verb, transitive verb, noun, AND interjection!)

I think of Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday as even days and Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday as odd ones. I don't know why.

(Sometimes you have tantrums when you don't want to do what we ask you to, Julian.) That's because I always plan out my days.

Double-pleases help you get what you want.

A man walks into a bar and says ouch. Why does he say ouch? Because he walks into a bar!


Blue fuzz and electrical cords. And a side of poo.

I want you to tuck me in real tight tonight. Can you bungee-cord my sheets around me so they will stay on?

This is a nice dictionary. (Mama: You can have it if you like. I never use it anymore, I just look stuff up online.) I'll show my kids some day. "This is how we used to look up words."

(Julian has been bringing his teddy bear Baby Love to school in his backpack this week.) Baby Love has ear chips. He can hear everything from inside the backpack. I have a microphone and we can talk with each other. He can hear everything in my class so he knows a lot. I don't have a Far-Away System so he can't hear from home. It only extends to about the school grounds.

Baby Love is singing Grandpa's favorite song! "zippity doo dah, zippity ay..."

(Julian has been carrying around a small ball of blue fuzz in his pocket that he says is a piece of the sky. He apparently grabbed it while jumping on the trampoline.)

I think of these like red crystals, Mama. Don't they look like red rubies growing in a cave? (pomegranate seeds)


This huge sunflower is the logo of my writing. On cards, I usually put it on the back.

I'm going to get a quarter cup of poo for my recipe. It's not for humans, it's a recipe for flies.

(Prior to Tobi's Star Wars birthday party)
Suzuki: Julian, let's wash you hair.
Julian: We don't need to. It'll look more Star War-ish. Because Jedis' hair is more dusty.

Julian: Did you know that if there's a crack in a cord, it doesn't matter? Do you know why? Because the electricity doesn't stop just because there's a crack. It just goes through if there's something covering it.
Suzuki: Why are you thinking of that?
Julian: I was just thinking about electricity. And electrical tape. And cords.

Did you know you're always touching something? Even if you're naked and you're jumping, you're always touching something.

Are there elements that haven't been discovered yet? (Yes.) Are they in places that are hard to get to, like big caves?

(Julian was snickering to himself.)
Suzuki: What are you thinking about? What's so funny?
Julian: Oh, I was just thinking something funny. I was thinking about some flowers that are electric and they sway back and forth, like there's wind. And the petals are going around like those windmills and they're making the wind!


Sing it again (and again), Sam.

Julian wearing the groom's hat at Marla and Bruce's wedding

I know someone who wore the same socks for eleven days and I think he wore them longer but I can guarantee he wore them for eleven days.

J: (sigh) I can't wait for school to get back. I like camp, but I like school better.
S: What do you like about it?
J: Learning.
S: Learning is pretty exciting.
J: It's more exciting for me than some. Tobi and I both love learning. Tobi is better than me at math but we're about the same in reading. Tobi is really good at explaining math. He is really patient, not like me. You have to be really patient to explain about math.

(at the hospital with his grandpa):
S: You could go run around outside now.
J: No, I'm staying with Grandma. Where she goes, I go.

If you sing a song, always sing it three times. Once for the people before you, once for the people now, and once for the people who come after you. (I assume Julian picked this up from his nature camp, where they have been learning Native American traditions and skills.)

Suzuki: If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
Julian: I think my life is perfect the way it is. (pause...) I would have more playdates.

Julie is the same age as Janusz. She is really funny and bright for her age.

J: What should we talk about?
S: The meaning of life.
J: No, let's talk about what I should do for work.

(Perhaps auto mechanic? My car's "check your tires" light went on a couple days after I had my car serviced. I said, "Darn, now I have to go back and have them check my tires." Julian said, "They probably just forgot to reset the button after checking the tires. I know how to do it. There's a RESET button in the little trunk that's in front of the passenger's seat (the glove compartment) and you just push it." He had read it in the manual. And it did work!)



Today, I was reading about this volcano that's been erupting in Hawaii for 30 years! The lava is oozing out. It's not one of those with explosions--it's oozing out into the ocean. It's the only place that new land is being created.

Suzuki: Your face got skinny since you've been so sick all last week.
Julian: I know. I like it better because it looks more like a head instead of like a ball.

The hole on the top of the whale used to be its nose. It moved back over time.

Say this five times fast: IRISH WRIST WATCH!

The funniest thing would be to put a bunch of clothes on the ceiling fan (blades) and then turn the fan on. Maybe we could do that for my birthday party.

Did you know that blood isn't really liquid? It's those little round things that are kind of flat. (Suzuki: Blood cells?) I saw this thing that was as small as a blood cell that had arms that held the cell and a thing came up over the top and gave it a shot! (A tiny robot.)

Come on, Smiley Face! Let's drive the plane to Mexico. But first we have to stop at a couple other places to help with the violence. (Suzuki: We can help stop the violence?) Yes, with our smiley faces and other stuff.

I can't wait until I can drive. Anyways, I already know how.

I found something to make my hair look good. Orange juice! [He's been "styling" it with juice from school.]

You know how in Mexico, the graves have those little pots for flowers? If you had a grave there, I would plant flowers for you and take care of them and water them every day. I'd make a little sprinkler system.

I really like this bracelet we made at Nature After School. It's (braided) deerskin. They rub the animal's brains all over it to tan it.

Tobi would make an excellent school teacher. He's got lots of patience!

Suzuki: I can't play catch with you now because I have other fish to fry.
Julian: I can help you fry them! I can help you with anything you're doing.

(While discussing the fugitive Dmitri Storm): When he was young, did he know he was going to be a robber? How did he become one?


Slow Food, Julian Style

I got inspired yesterday in Miss Julie's class. I made a tree with lots of texture on it and my friends said they really liked it and so I got inspired to make Baba a tree for his birthday.

Baba has such a small repertoire. He has so many clothes that he never wears.

I am a really good origami person.

Mama:  I'm not made of money, you know.
J:  I know you're not made of money, you're made of music.

I like how the flavors in this soup go together. Nothing like pops out. It's not black and white.

Mama:  Julian, I like that little theme you composed on the piano.
J:  When you get good at photographing, we'll make a movie and I'll write the theme song.

Sometimes I catch myself doing something random.

Don't eat so fast. You'll be able to get more taste out of it.

Mama:  When are you going to be grown-up enough for us to get a new table (that you won't scratch)?
J:  In three weeks, two days, at ten o'clock and 50 seconds.

Let's make a human knot.


A triple-sound-proof room will be required.

When I die, I know what I want to do with my body. I want it to go to a party for me.

Suzuki (watching Julian chop bok choy): So, are you "knife-certified?"
Julian: Yes.
S: So, you got certified at camp?
J: No, I just got good at it in my "late six."

(Hugging Mama) We agree on this.

S: You have a pretty good vocabulary, Julian.
J: I use words even if I don't know them. I just estimate what they mean.

Janusz: Everyone has a TV.
Suzuki: Not everybody.
Julian: Not old-style people, like us.

I went from dancing to laughing to coughing.

We can build a machine that brings David and Julie over every day. It goes really fast. It breaks first, then you start flumping along and then you fall out, then you get back in. And you make sure your instruments are all OK and you start up again and you go flumpety-flumpety-flump until the thing breaks. And then you're here!

I'm your "eggy."

When I have kids, I'm not going to tell them about sugar. I'm just going to feed them healthy stuff.

Julian(discussing what instrument he'll play when he's in 5th grade): How about the fog horn? That's cool. I would play in a triple-sound-proof room, but the whole world would shake! Uh-oh, the earth is no longer in the sun's orbit!

Let's do some really good snuggling. (Hugging) I'm giving you all the love I have for you. All my love.


A barnacle-made-for-two.

You know what I'm interested in and like to think about? Getting all of the somethings in the world and putting them in one place. Like all the chickens in the world. Putting them here. Maybe one flock of chickens would take up our whole living room.

You are the socket of my eye.

I can't be a foot away from you, Mama. Let's be a barnacle-made-for-two.

Let's just take our hate and put it in the garbage. Actually, the compost, so it can turn into something good.

[dressed up with a tie and pin-striped vest] I'm a hotel manager! (What do you do as hotel manager?) I...uh...look for walls that aren't that good and I replace them. I use a sledgehammer!

You know what I want for my birthday? A sledgehammer.

[at the Food Bank, in honor of MLK] We're not leaving until this place is BLAZING clean!

I'm going to have 100 kids. And Mama, you will have to make breakfast for them. Actually, you'll only have to make one and there will be 99 robots to make the rest.

[at the end of our See-if-you-can-get-out-the-door-to-school-without-anyone-yelling Contest] Mama, it succeeded! I'm out the door!

VIDEO: How to Tie a Tie, starring Julian.

Rockets (5 years old)

Contraptions (5 years old)

Fairfax Festival (3 years old)