Unicycles, Surfboards, and Love Contraptions

Did you know we have switches in our body? Yes. Lots and lots of switches. Focus! Switch--not focused! And back ON--focused! ... Muscles--OFF. (collapses)

If there's enough birds, could they carry a person in the air? If there's enough birds?

God is the dad of earth and Mother Earth is the mother of earth, right?

Did you know that some people are making black hole blasters that can go into black holes and blast back out? (Suzuki: Oh, really?) Yes, people are helping me make one in the underworld.

Look what I made (out of Legos). He has a unicycle under his surfboard! He's going to ride right into the ocean.

I'm going to tell you what I wish. I wish people didn't take up so much space.

Yay! I love these cards that Grandpa makes hisself. I love them so much because they're like stories.

This space shuttle is a love machine. I'm making a real love machine for you, Mama. A lot of them are fake because they're really expensive, but I got it for you. It's a real one. This space shuttle will never deliver bills to you.

Julian (after hearing Suzuki singing the theme from Barber of Seville): You're annoying, Mama. 
Suzuki: Hey, that hurts my feelings.
Julian: I'm sorry that you're annoying and I love you very much.

I'm going to make you a trophy for the best cereal in the world.

Don't look at me when you have the stuff (dye) in your hair. It makes my taste buds feel weird.|

I love you, Mama. And I can't even tell you how much. Way bigger than anyone could describe.

Julian: (Burp.) You're welcome. (Burp.) You're welcome.
Suzuki: You're welcome?
Julian: You're welcome in my burping factory.

I'm setting up the love contraption. It sends out love and takes away the bad love...that's moldy. When love gets moldy, it turns into hate. It takes that away and turns it into love. This guy (Legos again) activates the love contraption.

Suzuki: Can you read this?
Julian: No, I'm too full for reading...and a little too lazy, too.

I have so much love that even if you put it in your whole body and Baba's body and all the stars and the sun, there would still be so much more.

I have multiple brains.

After the earth is done, it will become Jesus. Because all the planets are named for gods, like Jupiter and Pluto...


  1. Randomly chanced upon this blog and it is a gem. Thanks for sharing the words of a hilarious, precocious human being.

  2. Glad you stumbled up us, Anonymous. Thanks for the appreciation!


Rockets (5 years old)

Contraptions (5 years old)

Fairfax Festival (3 years old)