Oddness, Continued.

Let's have an opera of burps!

Yesterday I looked up a bad word in the dictionary. The F word. (What did it say?) I don't remember. (So we looked it up again. Intransitive verb, transitive verb, noun, AND interjection!)

I think of Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday as even days and Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday as odd ones. I don't know why.

(Sometimes you have tantrums when you don't want to do what we ask you to, Julian.) That's because I always plan out my days.

Double-pleases help you get what you want.

A man walks into a bar and says ouch. Why does he say ouch? Because he walks into a bar!

Blue fuzz and electrical cords. And a side of poo.

I want you to tuck me in real tight tonight. Can you bungee-cord my sheets around me so they will stay on?

This is a nice dictionary. (Mama: You can have it if you like. I never use it anymore, I just look stuff up online.) I'll show my kids some day. "This is how we used to look up words."

(Julian has been bringing his teddy bear Baby Love to school in his backpack this week.) Baby Love has ear chips. He can hear everything from inside the backpack. I have a microphone and we can talk with each other. He can hear everything in my class so he knows a lot. I don't have a Far-Away System so he can't hear from home. It only extends to about the school grounds.

Baby Love is singing Grandpa's favorite song! "zippity doo dah, zippity ay..."

(Julian has been carrying around a small ball of blue fuzz in his pocket that he says is a piece of the sky. He apparently grabbed it while jumping on the trampoline.)

I think of these like red crystals, Mama. Don't they look like red rubies growing in a cave? (pomegranate seeds)

AND I JUST FOUND THIS SERIES FROM 9/12 THAT I FORGOT TO POST THEN:

This huge sunflower is the logo of my writing. On cards, I usually put it on the back.

I'm going to get a quarter cup of poo for my recipe. It's not for humans, it's a recipe for flies.

(Prior to Tobi's Star Wars birthday party)
Suzuki: Julian, let's wash you hair.
Julian: We don't need to. It'll look more Star War-ish. Because Jedis' hair is more dusty.

Julian: Did you know that if there's a crack in a cord, it doesn't matter? Do you know why? Because the electricity doesn't stop just because there's a crack. It just goes through if there's something covering it.
Suzuki: Why are you thinking of that?
Julian: I was just thinking about electricity. And electrical tape. And cords.

Did you know you're always touching something? Even if you're naked and you're jumping, you're always touching something.

Are there elements that haven't been discovered yet? (Yes.) Are they in places that are hard to get to, like big caves?

(Julian was snickering to himself.)
Suzuki: What are you thinking about? What's so funny?
Julian: Oh, I was just thinking something funny. I was thinking about some flowers that are electric and they sway back and forth, like there's wind. And the petals are going around like those windmills and they're making the wind!

Sing it again (and again), Sam.

Julian wearing the groom's hat at Marla and Bruce's wedding

I know someone who wore the same socks for eleven days and I think he wore them longer but I can guarantee he wore them for eleven days.

J: (sigh) I can't wait for school to get back. I like camp, but I like school better.
S: What do you like about it?
J: Learning.
S: Learning is pretty exciting.
J: It's more exciting for me than some. Tobi and I both love learning. Tobi is better than me at math but we're about the same in reading. Tobi is really good at explaining math. He is really patient, not like me. You have to be really patient to explain about math.

(at the hospital with his grandpa):
S: You could go run around outside now.
J: No, I'm staying with Grandma. Where she goes, I go.

If you sing a song, always sing it three times. Once for the people before you, once for the people now, and once for the people who come after you. (I assume Julian picked this up from his nature camp, where they have been learning Native American traditions and skills.)

Suzuki: If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
Julian: I think my life is perfect the way it is. (pause...) I would have more playdates.

Julie is the same age as Janusz. She is really funny and bright for her age.

J: What should we talk about?
S: The meaning of life.
J: No, let's talk about what I should do for work.

(Perhaps auto mechanic? My car's "check your tires" light went on a couple days after I had my car serviced. I said, "Darn, now I have to go back and have them check my tires." Julian said, "They probably just forgot to reset the button after checking the tires. I know how to do it. There's a RESET button in the little trunk that's in front of the passenger's seat (the glove compartment) and you just push it." He had read it in the manual. And it did work!)

IRISH WRIST WATCH

Today, I was reading about this volcano that's been erupting in Hawaii for 30 years! The lava is oozing out. It's not one of those with explosions--it's oozing out into the ocean. It's the only place that new land is being created.

Suzuki: Your face got skinny since you've been so sick all last week.
Julian: I know. I like it better because it looks more like a head instead of like a ball.

The hole on the top of the whale used to be its nose. It moved back over time.

Say this five times fast: IRISH WRIST WATCH!

The funniest thing would be to put a bunch of clothes on the ceiling fan (blades) and then turn the fan on. Maybe we could do that for my birthday party.

Did you know that blood isn't really liquid? It's those little round things that are kind of flat. (Suzuki: Blood cells?) I saw this thing that was as small as a blood cell that had arms that held the cell and a thing came up over the top and gave it a shot! (A tiny robot.)

Come on, Smiley Face! Let's drive the plane to Mexico. But first we have to stop at a couple other places to help with the violence. (Suzuki: We can help stop the violence?) Yes, with our smiley faces and other stuff.

I can't wait until I can drive. Anyways, I already know how.

I found something to make my hair look good. Orange juice! [He's been "styling" it with juice from school.]

You know how in Mexico, the graves have those little pots for flowers? If you had a grave there, I would plant flowers for you and take care of them and water them every day. I'd make a little sprinkler system.

I really like this bracelet we made at Nature After School. It's (braided) deerskin. They rub the animal's brains all over it to tan it.

Tobi would make an excellent school teacher. He's got lots of patience!

Suzuki: I can't play catch with you now because I have other fish to fry.
Julian: I can help you fry them! I can help you with anything you're doing.

(While discussing the fugitive Dmitri Storm): When he was young, did he know he was going to be a robber? How did he become one?

Slow Food, Julian Style

I got inspired yesterday in Miss Julie's class. I made a tree with lots of texture on it and my friends said they really liked it and so I got inspired to make Baba a tree for his birthday.

Baba has such a small repertoire. He has so many clothes that he never wears.

I am a really good origami person.

Mama:  I'm not made of money, you know.
J:  I know you're not made of money, you're made of music.

I like how the flavors in this soup go together. Nothing like pops out. It's not black and white.

Mama:  Julian, I like that little theme you composed on the piano.
J:  When you get good at photographing, we'll make a movie and I'll write the theme song.

Sometimes I catch myself doing something random.

Don't eat so fast. You'll be able to get more taste out of it.

Mama:  When are you going to be grown-up enough for us to get a new table (that you won't scratch)?
J:  In three weeks, two days, at ten o'clock and 50 seconds.

Let's make a human knot.

A triple-sound-proof room will be required.

When I die, I know what I want to do with my body. I want it to go to a party for me.

Suzuki (watching Julian chop bok choy): So, are you "knife-certified?"
Julian: Yes.
S: So, you got certified at camp?
J: No, I just got good at it in my "late six."

(Hugging Mama) We agree on this.

S: You have a pretty good vocabulary, Julian.
J: I use words even if I don't know them. I just estimate what they mean.

Janusz: Everyone has a TV.
Suzuki: Not everybody.
Julian: Not old-style people, like us.

I went from dancing to laughing to coughing.

We can build a machine that brings David and Julie over every day. It goes really fast. It breaks first, then you start flumping along and then you fall out, then you get back in. And you make sure your instruments are all OK and you start up again and you go flumpety-flumpety-flump until the thing breaks. And then you're here!

I'm your "eggy."

When I have kids, I'm not going to tell them about sugar. I'm just going to feed them healthy stuff.

Julian(discussing what instrument he'll play when he's in 5th grade): How about the fog horn? That's cool. I would play in a triple-sound-proof room, but the whole world would shake! Uh-oh, the earth is no longer in the sun's orbit!

Let's do some really good snuggling. (Hugging) I'm giving you all the love I have for you. All my love.

A barnacle-made-for-two.

You know what I'm interested in and like to think about? Getting all of the somethings in the world and putting them in one place. Like all the chickens in the world. Putting them here. Maybe one flock of chickens would take up our whole living room.

You are the socket of my eye.

I can't be a foot away from you, Mama. Let's be a barnacle-made-for-two.

Let's just take our hate and put it in the garbage. Actually, the compost, so it can turn into something good.

[dressed up with a tie and pin-striped vest] I'm a hotel manager! (What do you do as hotel manager?) I...uh...look for walls that aren't that good and I replace them. I use a sledgehammer!

You know what I want for my birthday? A sledgehammer.

[at the Food Bank, in honor of MLK] We're not leaving until this place is BLAZING clean!

I'm going to have 100 kids. And Mama, you will have to make breakfast for them. Actually, you'll only have to make one and there will be 99 robots to make the rest.

[at the end of our See-if-you-can-get-out-the-door-to-school-without-anyone-yelling Contest] Mama, it succeeded! I'm out the door!

VIDEO: How to Tie a Tie, starring Julian.

I think this was the nicest day of my whole life.

Can we please listen to some Irish tunes? I need some Irish tunes.

I know a lot of tunes. Baba thinks they all sound the same, but they don't at all. They're completely different.

I want us to have a laughing party. The goal is to have everybody laughing at the same time about the same thing. First, you have to get your tummy muscles warmed up!

I had a funny dream. We were hiking and saw mushrooms floating in the air. The kind that have dots on them. When they were babies, they were in the ground. Then they started floating...

It's funny how shoelaces are really only shoelace.

I think this was the nicest day of my whole life. [Mama gave him a haircut, then took him to get ice cream at The Scoop except they were intercepted by a free horse-drawn carriage ride through town first. Later, they went to a big pierogi-making party with Janusz's band of Poles.]

I like to burp as much as I can.

This pocket is soundproof.

I know how to tell if the tooth fairy is real. First, you don't tell your parents when you tooth is wiggly. Then, you don't tell them when your tooth falls out, and put it under your pillow.

Mama, how does this (something on the stereo) work? Oh! Wow, by just following my brain a little bit, I figured it out.

In wonder if those dials (car speedometer and RPM-ometer) have motors, or if they work by pressure.

This pocket is sound-proof. Really, it is.

(At Mama's office): Your work is like magic.It's like magic to me, Mama. I might work here when I'm old.

It's three to two. I hope you win the next game and then we'll have a tie again. That was fun.

(Referring to his first adult tooth coming in, and the fact that it's more jagged than his baby teeth): It shouldn't be like a pizza cutter--so smooth--it should be more like a wood saw.

Bonus exclamation from Mama's visitng mom: Oh Golly Moses!

We are scientists.

We are scientists. We see interesting stuff where other people see yucky stuff.

(Before falling asleep): What's the tallest thing in the world? How do you squirt a tomato? Sometimes I want to talk, but I can't think of a subject to do, so I talk about the first thing I can think of, like "how do you squirt a tomato" or something.

(In Yosemite, after a very long hike up to Nevada Falls and back, Julian looked tired and Janusz said, Poor Juju. Julian replied): I'm not poor. I have a good Baba, a good family, and more than one good friend. I'm not poor.

So, who's going to win the election? Will there be some big parades when someone wins?

I wish I had more homework.

This one doesn't make sense to me. (During connect-word-to-illustration homework with the word "jet" and a simple drawing of an airplane.) Because it doesn't have any jets.

I know a way to wiggle your tooth. You put your finger on it and take a ride in the car and it get wiggled. (Lost his first tooth 10/16/12)

(During family house cleaning):  I like doing little things like polishing. It's actually kind of fun for me. I'm just that kind of person. I like the kind of things like polishing or vacuuming, but I don't really like putting stuff away.

My favorite cleaning house sport is vacuuming.

A lot of people have trouble starting to clean. But a lot of times, you just have to convince your body to do it and then you can do it pretty easily. Can I go biking now? I certainly deserve it.

If there was no gravity, people would just float around and we couldn't control ourselves. So, it would be cool if we had little jets in places so that we could turn (sound effects).

Make mine a double.

When I'm old enough, can I take one of your jobs?

Julian: I had a double ice cream today. I've moved on to double ice creams.
Suzuki: What did you have?
Julian: I got vanilla honey lavender and mint chocolate swirl. I didn't really like the chocolate one.
Suzuki: Why not just get both scoops with the vanilla honey lavender?
Julian: You can DO THAT?!!

I'm so glad you are my mom!

S: Who do you want to have over for your birthday?
J: Tobi, Cordelia, and Zane.
S: OK.
J: (pause...) And later I want to have another, bigger party with lots of people!
S: Oh, you're just thinking of the presents now...I don't think we really need to do that.
J: (smiling) Yeah.

Julian: Maybe we should wear goggles to cut the onions. (They worked great!)

(One day, Mama was struck by Norovirus, or something like it and Julian stayed at her side, providing constant care.) Mama, is there anything you need? Would you like a glass of water? I'll get you a towel.(He got me ice, made me tea, and much more. That night, before going to bed): You don't have to leave me asleep tonight. If you need ANYTHING, just wake me up!

Blind dogs and optical illusions.

Did you know that some dogs guide other blind dogs? That have a special leash between them.

Never say never...oops.

Juju: How old is your car, Baba?
Baba: 14.
Juju: It's a teenager. Do you think it will get to grow up?

Suzuki: You guys should have come on that hike with me. I saw some cool tracks.
Julian: What did they look like?
Suzuki: They had three straight lines.
Julian: Oh, I know what made them: Yodas.

That (long, black) dress makes you look taller. Some people might think you grew!

Julian: I'm always on-call.
Suzuki: For your job?
Julian: Yes.
Suzuki: What do you do?
Julian: I can't tell you, it's too complicated. I can't even sleep in my own jammies because I have to have everything on at all times.

What spell should I use to cool this barszcz (soup)? Coolamah, coolamah, coolamah...FEY!

I need one more hand for putting on the ketchup. I just need one more. I usually won't use it, but for ketchup.

You're making me itchy with your voice.

We're going to have one "pretend" a night. We're going to pretend going upstairs is part of it. We will pretend to sail into my room. We don't really have a space for you in the boat, so you will water ski on the side.

If you roast apples enough, it tastes like apple pie. And I think that's what we're going to do in Yosemite. Baba is going to try to remember.

[And I just rediscovered this photo of Julian's door and his old friend Lena:]

Flash Playdates and Mama Zombies

S: Tobi is coming over tomorrow for a playdate.
J: Sometimes I have like "flash playdates." Like I don't even know about them. Like flash floods in the desert.

(Tobi and Julian, Desert Explorers. Made at school.)

It's my "specialest" thing.

Tobi: It would be good if we lived in houses right next to each other. We would build a tunnel. We'd ask the government to do it.

Let me hug you! Let me dance you! Let me kiss you!

See Julian's first ballet recital!

Mama, I love you. I wouldn't be alive without you.

Mama, when you die, I'm going to make a sculpture of you with arms up to hug that has a motor that makes it move and says, "I love you, Juju...I love you, Juju...I love you, Juju..."

S: Julian, I'm going to need your utmost cooperation this week.
J: My un-most cooperation?
S: No, your utmost.
J: I'll give you my un-most cooperation. Here it is!

(Tobi made this telescoping Lightsaver for Julian.)

J: This light saver is good because it saves the light, so it saves electricity.Wow -- 360 million -- that's how much light it saved. 360 thousand light capsules!
Janusz: How long will that last?
J: About half a day. 360 thousand million trillion hundred -- that'll last one day. 360 thousand million trillion hundred scoillion, jillian, (etc.) -- that'll last a decade!

An apple a day keeps the doctors in a different country. No, in a different universe. A different galaxy. Maybe the Star Wars Galaxy...

S: Julian, do you want to see a video of yourself in the school play?
J: No, I know what I look like and I heard myself.

See Julian's desert school play. New, improved footage taken by Janusz.

You're the "loviest" mama I've ever seen. Because you love me so much.

Janusz: Julian, your science fair certificate has the same gold star as I got on my Juniper Networks certification.
S: Wow you guys, I guess I need to get a gold star!
J: Oh, I'll get you one. All I need is a rocket.

S: I like real clowns, but I don't like it when you clown around at dinner.
J: I'll be a real clown. What do real clowns do?

Hey Mama, we were on the same pitch, but we were saying different things.

You're the boss of carrying stuff up from the car.

I sprouted from the most beautiful egg ever.

(School choir performance line-up.)

with his good friend Zane

J: Tonight I don't want a book, Baba. Let's talk. I want you to tell me something interesting. Something that I don't already know.

Janusz: I'm very tired. I'm not sure I can think of something off the top of my head. If you have a specific question, I can try to find an answer for you.
J: When cars have front-wheel drive, how can the engine turn the wheels side-to-side and still make them turn around?

S: Julian, please sit down at the table.
J: OK, I'm sling-shotting myself there.

You try the Mexican chili hot chocolate first, and then if you can't describe it in a really good way, I won't have any.

See Airplane Lavatory Self-Portraits in the Flemish Style

A Day for Laughter Hath Been Proclaimed!

(Early Friday morning): Let's have today be "Laughing Day." Let's laugh as much as possible. 

(Later that day): We should make "Laughing Bread!"

(End of day): We had SO MUCH laughing today! It was so fun!

In Julian's ballet class, Teacher Lily plays a game with the kids sitting with their thighs pressed out and the bottoms of their feet pressed together. She pretends to throw treats into their "baskets." After class, the teacher quietly told me that when she asked him what he wanted in his basket, Julian said, "Nothing." She asked, "Nothing?" He replied, "I already have everything I need." She said, "I never heard that before. Usually they want candy or something like that!"

Mama, I made something for you. You have to try it. A papaya seed and a chive wrapped in a basil leaf. Isn't it good? (It was!)

I see a lot of animals on the bathroom wall, Mama. Come look! There are two elephants, a bear, and a rabbit. Be aware, they all have eyes. Oh, there's a goldfish and I found a monkey. And I see a Saguaro Cactus!

I made a new Lego kit that has all the parts for a Pterodactyl. Do you want me to plug the vehicle into the Pterodactyl now?

Ro-sham-bo, (heart shape)! Let's say that Heart "beats" everything else, because it has love!

NOTE: Julian did a fine job in his role as a Saguaro (The Cactus, Tall and Grand) in his kindergarten play:

Click here to watch for Julian's Kindergarten Cactus Play! 

Unicycles, Surfboards, and Love Contraptions

Did you know we have switches in our body? Yes. Lots and lots of switches. Focus! Switch--not focused! And back ON--focused! ... Muscles--OFF. (collapses)

If there's enough birds, could they carry a person in the air? If there's enough birds?

God is the dad of earth and Mother Earth is the mother of earth, right?

Did you know that some people are making black hole blasters that can go into black holes and blast back out? (Suzuki: Oh, really?) Yes, people are helping me make one in the underworld.

Look what I made (out of Legos). He has a unicycle under his surfboard! He's going to ride right into the ocean.

I'm going to tell you what I wish. I wish people didn't take up so much space.

Yay! I love these cards that Grandpa makes hisself. I love them so much because they're like stories.

This space shuttle is a love machine. I'm making a real love machine for you, Mama. A lot of them are fake because they're really expensive, but I got it for you. It's a real one. This space shuttle will never deliver bills to you.

Julian (after hearing Suzuki singing the theme from Barber of Seville): You're annoying, Mama. 
Suzuki: Hey, that hurts my feelings.
Julian: I'm sorry that you're annoying and I love you very much.

I'm going to make you a trophy for the best cereal in the world.

Don't look at me when you have the stuff (dye) in your hair. It makes my taste buds feel weird.|

I love you, Mama. And I can't even tell you how much. Way bigger than anyone could describe.

Julian: (Burp.) You're welcome. (Burp.) You're welcome.
Suzuki: You're welcome?
Julian: You're welcome in my burping factory.

I'm setting up the love contraption. It sends out love and takes away the bad love...that's moldy. When love gets moldy, it turns into hate. It takes that away and turns it into love. This guy (Legos again) activates the love contraption.

Suzuki: Can you read this?
Julian: No, I'm too full for reading...and a little too lazy, too.

I have so much love that even if you put it in your whole body and Baba's body and all the stars and the sun, there would still be so much more.

I have multiple brains.

After the earth is done, it will become Jesus. Because all the planets are named for gods, like Jupiter and Pluto...

You're the heating element in my pickle.

Mama, you're the motor in my fan. You're the filament in my lightbulb. You're the paint in my picture. You're the key to my mind.

Can really hot water make a fire? If you pour it on wood?

Suzuki (after having employed the old "I've got your nose" trick): Hey, I've got your nose!
Julian: You don't have my nose. I have my own private nose and each time I get a new, improved model when you take it.

Juju (playing with legos): We're just waiting for a concept to come up...I know! This is a short-route, one-person dizzer!

I do not like what is going on with this world. Some things I like, but a lot I do not. (With a disgusted tone): In my school, almost every class has a projector!

I don't like shrimps to eat, but I like shrimps the animals. They're really cute.

Can we get a spring box for my mattress and put it next to your bed so we can all sleep together? I want to be with you as much as possible. Being together is what life's about.

Janusz: Julian, I thought you said you were dying of hunger and now you're not eating and playing with that puppet and rubber band.
Julian: I guess I was dying for something to be interesting.

Julian: I like to quietly practice other people's voices.
Suzuki: Maybe you'd like to be an actor.
Julian: No, I want to be a dancer.

Thank you for getting me a napkin, Baba. You're the best...You're welcome for saying you're the best.

A leaf was jumping down the street. It was so funny!

(On a fire road hike) Tracks are an offering to God from trucks.

I don't think I'd be a good harmonica player because after I play for some time, my breath feels weird.

Mama, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to guess in a special way--guess more slowly, so you don't just say, "I give up."

Suzuki: A speech therapist is going to come to your class.
Julian: But I don't want to lose my accent.

Joy!

The Nutcracker and The F Word

Mama, when you cut my hair, could you make a big curl on one side, like a phone on the side of my face? Like I'm talking on a hair phone?

J: Looks like I'm going to be a shooting star today.
S: But shooting stars have clean teeth.
J: Shooting stars don't really have teeth. They have gills and they breathe in dust. And if they crash into a star, they stop for a snack.

J: Can I get my own tape dispenser?
S: OK.
J: Thank you, Mama. You are the sweetest. You and Baba are the sweetest.

(Pointing into his yogurt): Look, Mama. It looks like God. Like a person with wings.

There's a store that's named for me and Tobi. TJ's. T and J!

J: What's the "F word," Mama?
S: What do you know about it?
J: I know it's the worst word there is. What is it?
S: F#%@
J: What does it mean?

What if you did knit-two, purl-one, knit-two, purl-one and mixed it all up? Let's do that, Mama. All the time, we'll be together, knitting.

J: In school, we're learning about classical music and The Nutcracker.
S: DUM, ba da da DUM bum, BUM bum BAH!?
J: DUM, ba da da DUM bum, BUM bum BAH!
S: Did you know that it's a ballet? Would you like me to rent the video for us to watch?
J: Nah...I just want to see it live.

J: Baba, will you get me an iPhone?
B: What do you need an iPhone for?
J: I don't know...I heard someone at school say his parents are going to get him one when he's 14.

Mama, do you know the difference between hardware and software? Hardware is like the metal things and software is like things on the computer, so it's like a whole different subject.

What if you could just walk into the night and stay in the night, or you could just walk into the day? It would be good for the desert because it gets so hot.

Ka-BOOM!

Julian: This soup is a little spicy.
Suzuki: Very slightly.
Julian: Very slightly? That makes no sense.

Look, Mama, I'm drawing constellations. The Nine Brothers and The Wallet make the Diamond of Beauty. And they're all part of the Starry Night constellation. And I made another constellation, The Helpful Boomerang.

At school, we're slowly slipping away from learning about Native Americans.

I am very good at copying sounds. Caw! Caw! That's how most people make crow sounds. I do it like real crows sound. I'd be a very good person to keep an animal because I could speak to them in their language.

I'm going to remember to have a bad dream tonight. (So you can come to my bed?) Yes.

I know the best way to play Ro-sham-bo. Everybody always does Rock because it's the easiest. So I always do paper.

(At bedtime) I got the prize. The best baba and the best mama in the world.

I am thankful for my home, books, the water, and grass fires. And floods.

What if this were an energy pump and there was a tube on each end and it would pump the water? Your glass would be full. Wouldn't that be cool?

Julian : Your office is beautiful but you're hogging all the pictures. You should put them all around the house.
Suzuki: There aren't a lot of spaces available on the walls in the rest of the house.
Julian: Don't forget ground art and ceiling art. Isn't that a good idea?

Julian: Who are you going to marry, Mama?
Suzuki: I'm already married Julian. But, you've been thinking a lot these things lately. Have you been thinking about who you're going to marry?
Julian: Yes.
Suzuki: Who?
Julian: Toby. Boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls.
Suzuki: That's right.
Julian: And then we'll find a girl we really, really like and then "ka-BOOM."
Suzuki: "Ka-BOOM?"
Julian: We'll have a baby...Then there will be three people married.
Suzuki: You'll marry the girl too?
Julian: Maybe. We don't know yet.

Suzuki: Julian, how come you never talk about hot lava anymore?
Julian: It's all gone. There are two suns, a good sun and a bad one that stole all the hot lava from Earth.

Smile, Mama! Have a smile, my baby! Smile as big as a house. As big as a watermelon. So big you have to tie it on top of your car. You need a big truck.

How many minutes in a day? How many seconds in a day? ... Can you explain the fourth dimension to me now?

[Julian learned how to knit K1.]

Dark Vadar and Accumulation Systems

Julian: Mama, I'm setting up a system that any time someone drops something, it's mine. A drill tip and a penny. Mine! Do you like that system?
Suzuki: That's a funny system.
Julian (later, when there's the sound of something crashing onto the floor): Yay!
Suzuki: Immersion blender. Yours!
Julian: Well, how about only small things will be mine?

(On the trampoline): My cheeks are so big that I can feel them bouncing up and down!

Julian: What balls do you know how to play?
Suzuki: You mean like what sports?
Julian: Yes.
Suzuki: I never really learned any of those things.
Julian: I'll teach you!
Suzuki: Alright, thanks. And who taught you?
Julian: I just accumulated it.

Julian: Would you rather wake up in the morning and your house was all covered in lettuce or would you rather to wake up in the morning and your house was all covered in asphalt?

Julian (on Halloween night): Halloween is about being scary. Next year I want to be Dark Vadar.
Suzuki: Sure, if you can figure out how to make it yourself.
Julian: Like a mask made of paper mache? Wait, I'm gong to wear a different costume. I'm going to quickly go make a Dark Vadar suit. (This was at 5:55pm and it was already dark. He came down soon after and said he'd stick with the Doctor Dragon hybrid costume he had created earlier.)

Julian: We're studying Native Americans. I have a native American name. It's Eagle Horn. I thought of it myself.

[Julian met Roger's grandson Oscar in Sebastopol. Oscar asked Julian about his dad.]
Oscar: "Is he Irish or something?"
Julian: "No, he's Polish."
Oscar: "So, is he from the North Pole then?"